Seeing Nimbus...Seeing Rainbow

Today, I was awakened by an unidentifiable something at around 6am. Well well, I consider that as normal for myself nowadays. But as soon as I opened my eyes, I wished myself to have a beutiful Saturday.

Mind to know the reason for that?

I am so going to gather up with my beloved besties today, including Kak Nick, one of my bestest seniors back in Convent years. We've been apart for ages. And I guess it is not too much of exaggeration if I say that today is another historic day for me to be able to meet her!

I know very well that the 'heart' is not doing a-oke these few weeks. It may have started months ago before I finally found myself not being able to take it anymore. At times, I pointed my finger at me, taking all blames for not making the right decision. Or at least, for not being able to make the right decision for myself. I realized, "Aku tidak tahu dimana harus memulakannya untuk mengakhiri sesuatu".

Life can be harder than this. I know that for sure. But then again, the decision is in our hands. We choose what we want in this life. It is very much about making the right decision. Being bold. Living a smart life. Learn from previous mistakes. Looking at experiences (both sweet and bitter) in retrospect.

Each time come to think of it, I choose to be happy. I choose to focus myself for myself. For my very own future. For my parents. For my beloved ones (people, you know who you are). For the bond between me and Allah SWT.

I realized that I am still very far from the person I really want to be. Still very far from what it takes to seize my ambition. And in order to get myself 'there', I should be able to make the right decisions in this life. To be courageous in facing obstacles. To always keep my Iman in whatever situation. InsyaAllah. And for things other than that, aku membiarkan Allah Taala suluhkan jawapannya.

I know I can help myself to pull through this nebulous condition. And only me can do so. So why would I choose to be sad?