And I remember, I used to answer it this way, "Er, Intan belum mentally prepared to work la".
But when I come to think of it again and over again, I was not that 'mentally unprepared' to enter the next phase of life. It was primarily because 'I hold so tightly to my ambition' and could not compromise it with anything else, not at all.
Obstinate! Yea, tell me about it. Tell me whatever. I knew that I had to hold very tightly to my ambition and in order to be there, I have to follow my long-term plan- something that is neither written in a diary nor on a board. I kept it safely inside my head.
No, I am not saying that I've successfully achieved my dreams and ambition.
But yes, I am still making steps before I can finally 'be there'. From baby steps to where I exactly stand today. Navigating myself towards the direction is the toughest task I have ever had. But yes, the results tell me that it worth every single pain.
Tomorrow will marks the beginning of a new chapter in my life- I'll be in office! It will be the very first working day in my 25-year life! This is what I recognize as a 'nauseous excitement'.
I have officially accepted the offer by the Limkokwing University of Creative Technology as a lecturer and expected to report duty on January 25, 2010. Alhamdulillah. Me myself still hardly believing that I will step into a new phase in life and which is due in couples of hours from now.
I am forever thankful to Allah SWT for all of his blessings. I am a sinful servant of His, but He has granted my prayer and eased the winding path of this life. Despite the challenges, the strength and iman He has given to me have brought me to where I am today. Alhamdulillah.
As a person who has zero teaching experience, I am not hoping for a wonderful first day in office. But yes, I am hoping a big hope that everything will falls in place for me tomorrow and the following days. I am still reminding myself that regardless how ugly it could be, the hardships will be a beautiful experience for me, thus added meaningful colors to my life.
Teaching is my biggest passion. I consider the position as a lecturer more than just a 'career'. The notion is ultimately noble, thus there is a pressing need for me to bear in mind that I should perform it responsibly. Ameen ya robbal 'alamin.
Though I will start working tomorrow, but I am still after my biggest dream.