This One Needs No Title

As much as I should be hunting for contact details of the prospective informants for my thesis, I found myself doing this. My heart has been in dire need to spell out its smiles and cries since the last post.

But then again, I got so tied up with my crazy schedule these lately. Well, I am so bringing it on, now (Dear Thesis, I promise I'll come back to you as soon as I posted this one!).

First of all, I would like to convey my big thanks to Allah SWT for His blesses for the imperfect me. I just received one big good news last night. MOHE has approved my scholarship application.

Well that is just for what I am doing now. But, that is a positive indicator for what I have planned for my dear future. I am so keeping it first with me now. Not until I finally manage to prolong the scholarship for my studies, next year. Therefore, I guess I must not forget to thank MOHE likewise for its generosity.

A few days ago, I attended a public forum organized by the Institute of Ethnic Studies of Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM) at the Integrity Institute of Malaysia (IIM).

The almost-three-hours forum was moderated by Datin Paduka Marina Mahathir (I was even noted about this through her blog. So, thank you Rantings!) and the guest speaker was Prof. Dr. Aneez Esmail, from the University of Manchester, United Kingdom.

Suits with the current political and racial climate in Malaysia, 'RACE RELATIONS: The British Experience' was promised to be an enormously meaningful discourse for all Malaysians who are 'losing the grip', the grip of unity. I hope I got it right. I'll be writing another piece specifically on this one later on.

I have to be honest that all these while, I was caught in the state of ennui for quite some times. I am so not sure of its contributing factor, but seriously, I just can't deny the fact that I have been carried away too far from myself, from the real me.

However, I know that is the price I had to pay for engaging myself in the 'not-so-right business'. Not until I finally pulled myself to pull through that moronic condition. And in this case, I forever owe a big thank to a few persons who have been my shoulder to cry on and for being my strength when I was losing it badly.

Ties of tasks await me now. Toefl is just around the corner and I am so freaking out. Final semester will be raising its curtains very soon. 10 interviews are on my list (the number could grow more). I have to get my resumes done before September or else I can only dream of continuing my studies by next year. My Supervisor is expecting me to start my writing part as soon as the final semester kicks off. Thesis deadline is in October. Viva is expected to be in November.

It is killing me softly and I would be a piece of dead meat if I were to fail to accomplish them all. And for these, I cannot keep my worries in disguise. But then again, I refuse to be engrossed by disenchantment as much as I realize that my desired ambition is still way far from me.

I used to taking one step at a time. From now on, I am teaching myself to make double efforts for each and every steps that I take in order to for me to 'seize' my ambition in time, accordingly to my plan.

Strength, please stay with me. I need to keep the fortitude on green lights.