Yes, I am so BACK

It has been a few months since my last post. Or even bad than that.

The job has taken too much from me. But I am loving it though. This is what I really want to do.

To teach, to share knowledge and to gain precious experiences are things I insisted doing. I have been teaching for almost a semester without I am actually realizing it. How time flies! But yes yes, I dearly love what I am doing now!

It is always good to understand that everything is in place now though it was quite rocky in the beginning. I think learning it the hard way is the best approach to learn life better. So I did.

Each single things that took place throughout the process were too new for me. Meeting the students, teaching, composing and marking assignments, consulting, preparing the tests , examination questions and marking and scolding the students - everything for the 'very first time'!

I did get upset over the students' attitude at times, but most of the time I love them more, or I must say EVEN more!

I have come to realized that working in a private institution is way more challenging than working anywhere else, let alone being a government servant. If you question a why, take a read more: the students are demanding, different ways to approach students from 150 distinctive cultural backgrounds, language barriers, competing philosophies with the employer and to fit in an eco-system which is TOTALLY different from the conventional higher learning institution.

I resist to consider my students as mere clients. To me, they are CLIENTS to a better world. Therefore, I always believe that they should not be treated like a king- instead,they got to be trained to be KINGS and LEADERS for a brighter world.

They should not be spoiled and over-pampered. They should get the chance to unleash their wisdom, expand their knowledge and be the man for their nations and for the world.

Don't you think so?

A Doubtful New Week

"Bila nak kerja? Asyik belajar je...", many have asked me this.

And I remember, I used to answer it this way, "Er, Intan belum mentally prepared to work la".

But when I come to think of it again and over again, I was not that 'mentally unprepared' to enter the next phase of life. It was primarily because 'I hold so tightly to my ambition' and could not compromise it with anything else, not at all.

Obstinate! Yea, tell me about it. Tell me whatever. I knew that I had to hold very tightly to my ambition and in order to be there, I have to follow my long-term plan- something that is neither written in a diary nor on a board. I kept it safely inside my head.

No, I am not saying that I've successfully achieved my dreams and ambition.

But yes, I am still making steps before I can finally 'be there'. From baby steps to where I exactly stand today. Navigating myself towards the direction is the toughest task I have ever had. But yes, the results tell me that it worth every single pain.

Tomorrow will marks the beginning of a new chapter in my life- I'll be in office! It will be the very first working day in my 25-year life! This is what I recognize as a 'nauseous excitement'.

I have officially accepted the offer by the Limkokwing University of Creative Technology as a lecturer and expected to report duty on January 25, 2010. Alhamdulillah. Me myself still hardly believing that I will step into a new phase in life and which is due in couples of hours from now.

I am forever thankful to Allah SWT for all of his blessings. I am a sinful servant of His, but He has granted my prayer and eased the winding path of this life. Despite the challenges, the strength and iman He has given to me have brought me to where I am today. Alhamdulillah.

As a person who has zero teaching experience, I am not hoping for a wonderful first day in office. But yes, I am hoping a big hope that everything will falls in place for me tomorrow and the following days. I am still reminding myself that regardless how ugly it could be, the hardships will be a beautiful experience for me, thus added meaningful colors to my life.

InsyaALLAH.

Teaching is my biggest passion. I consider the position as a lecturer more than just a 'career'. The notion is ultimately noble, thus there is a pressing need for me to bear in mind that I should perform it responsibly. Ameen ya robbal 'alamin.

Though I will start working tomorrow, but I am still after my biggest dream.

Climbing, still.

Yes, You May Write

I may not be the right person in the right position to talk about this. But hell yes, the new media has enabled everyone, including me to have our says online.

That means the new media is giving everyone who has the access to the Internet an equal chance to speak their minds. In this case, I thank the new media a million thanks. I believe that everyone else is thanking the new media likewise.

The impacts of thew new media, especially blogging activities is compulsive amidst the very fact that the presence of new media isn't meant to be a mean to harm one another or to create 'war online'. I strongly believed that it depends on us- the 'active media users'- how we take the means available with us in our daily lives.

If we take them as means for all noble intentions, then we'll definitely enjoy the pleasuring results in the end. In the other hand, if we use it as a weaponry medium, than we should be mentally and physically prepared to anticipating the possible consequences. Before going deeper, I would like to emphasize here that for this post, I specially focuses on 'blog'- the most pervasive means made available by the new media.

Fine. I do totally understand that in the course of triggering something to change, there will definitely be certain consequences that should be taken into account. In other words, there is a price to pay for whatever we said. Not everybody will buy everything we say because opinions tend to be very subjective, accordingly to how the individuals perceived things.

It's important for all bloggers to accept one simple rule of thumb- everyone does not root for one same idea. Why? One simple reason to justify this- people do have their own perceptions, thus mold their individual opinions.

Reasonable bloggers eventually succumbed to this rule and shouldn't be way too offended. Take the differences as meaningful colors to this life. Or in simpler words, just take it positively and things gonna be a-oke!

There's another pivotal something which has always been in my head. It's all about how we write or speak about things we concerned about. For those who came from journalistic background, there's one common saying- "Mata pena lebih tajam daripada pedang". Whatever we write can help to 'make or break someone' and this has added a pressing need for all bloggers to be able to write rationally and without engaging too much of emotional expressions.

We write to make things better. We write for what's right and it's our definite right to write anything in the blog. I root for that very philosophy because I personally understand the importance of creating a free marketplace of ideas for a democratic country like Malaysia. People's ideas could be a precious assets for the country to achieve its log-term vision.

But the citizens need to be able to write inoffensively. We aren't up for creating an online war which will jeopardize the people and the country altogether. Based on my experience, I find it easier to write inoffensively rather than writing to showing flaming anger. So, why would we choose the hard way to get things done, innit?

Many hidebound professional journalists are reluctant to recognize the works by bloggers primarily because they believe that bloggers aren't writing professionally. Accordingly to the journalism rules, a professional writer (be it a reporter, columnist, blogger, etc) should be writing objectively; without engaging his or her personal judgments and emotion. Well, professional bloggers who understand this normally came from journalistic background or they understand the notion of doing journalism the right way.

Based on my observation, I firmly believe that someday somehow our people who are actively blogging will get to this point. It's just a matter of time. We are still very new to the new media if compared with people from developed countries. So, eventualities like these are part of the learning curve for all of us.

Blogger need to be responsible for everything they post in their blogs. Bloggers need to anticipate the possible consequences over what they posted online. On top of that, bloggers need to be able to understand journalism to avoid undesirable outcomes. After all, we aren't writing for ourselves. Innit true, people?

Yes, we may write.
But write with brain.
Not with emotion.

Happy blogging, everyone!

In Full Smile!

I can never be happier to know that Allah SWT has granted my doa. Thank you, Allah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

A week ago, I met one of the RMIT University's representatives at the Australian Education Fair held in PJ Hilton. I received a notification email from the International Relations Officer of the institution regarding the education fair and he asked me to meet their representative, Kenneth Eu at the event. So I did.

I am good to submit my application letter to both University of Adelaide and RMIT University, but can't do so, not until I receive a consent from the potential supervisor(s) at those institution to take me as a student under their supervision for my Ph.D.

I wasn't devastated but quite sad when he told me so.

But I kept reminding myself that it's not that easy to get things done. "Kejayaan takkan datang bergolek tanpa usaha", Ayah once said to me and each time uneasiness and sadness seized me, I remind myself of Ayah's piece of valueless advice. And on top of that, I have always told myself of HIS promise- 'Allah SWT hanya akan membantu umat yang membantu dirinya sendiri'.

So I did as being told by Kenneth. When I was writing the email, I prayed very hard to HIM in my heart. I remember Kenneth told me that it's not easy to get a supervisor to approve the proposal, especially in this festive season since most of them are on long Christmas leave.

As soon as I got back, I sat before my laptop, writing emails to those potential supervisors from both University of Adelaide and RMIT University. Deep in my heart, I kept telling myself that I might need to try again and again as it's not easy to get their consent. So I prayed again.

I checked my email the following day. It's the biggest surprise in my life receiving a reply from one of those potential supervisor I contacted on the other day! The surprise gets bigger he told me that he's very interested in my proposed research topic and gave his consent to take me as a Ph.D student under his supervision. Without I'm actually realizing it, tears dropped down my face. Ya Allah, terima kasih!

I would also like to thank the person I meant, Dr. Chika Anyanwu, for his willingness to take me as one of his students. The opportunity given by Allah Taala to me will never be wasted, that's my vow. InsyaALLAH.

Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah.

I've promised myself to be a better person everyday. Ameen.

Mission Accomplished. Alhamdulillah.

Yesterday was a big day for me and all of my classmates, I believe.

Alhamdulillah, I got my final examination results at around 9.55pm. From that moment onwards, I finally know that I've graduated my master's degree- Master of Mass Communication, to be exact. Alhamdulillah again and again.

I can't be explaining how relieved I was looking at my GPA for final semester and overall CGPA. I feel so blessed knowing that I managed to increased my CGPA as that's what most important for me in qualifying me for Ph.D candidature next year.

When I first viewed my result slip online, I was jiggered and stunned. I hardly believed what my eye balls saw on the laptop screen. I had never imagine getting such a result. Thank you, Allah Taala. Though I was happy with my GPA, my I am happier knowing that I've improved my CGPA. Alhamdulillah.

I've been told by my classmates that senate will release our examination result yesterday, but yes, it was so hard for me to squeezed into the congested network to check my result. UiTM has more than half a million students checking their results nationwide, during the same hours. So, tell me about that ;p

There is no word to explain how bad I suffered waiting for the moment to check my final result. I couldn't make a single guess about it, not even a rough target of what I'll be getting as I had no idea of how good or how bad I did my assignments and examinations. It was a jittery day for me, anxiously waiting for the senate to release the students' results.

My mentors continuously explained that the victory is due to my own works. But to me, and I know for sure, I won't be here and I won't be the person I am today without the help, doa, guidance and support from my beloved parents, my mentors (Assoc. Prof. Dr.Halimahton, Prof. Dr.Bukhory, Assoc. Prof. Dr.Haidar, Prof. Roslena & Assoc. Prof Rosni), my best friends (Alys, Farha, Tiqah, Elena & Hazah plus the rest of the girls!) and also my dearest classmates in Mc770 batch 2007-2009.

I am nobody without them. Seriously. So, I would like to congratulate them as well for being the greatest parents, greatest mentors and greatest friends on planet earth! I love all of you, wholeheartedly.

And on top of all that, I would like to express my utmost gratitude to Allah SWT for according me with knowledge, inspirations, patience and health throughout my studies and I know very well that I won't be able to stand up to this level without the helps from HIM. I feel so blessed and I can't stop thanking Allah Taala for the blessings he has given to me, amidst the wrongdoings and all bad things I've done in my life. Thank you, Allah for granting my doa.

Last but not least, I would like to exclusively thank one person- a man who has been there during my ups and downs. I know I can't thank him enough for all patience, moral supports, doa and helping hand he lend to me so far to make things easier for me. You know who you are :)

To the rest of my classmates, CONGRATULATIONS y'all! See you on the convocation day in May 2010. I can't wait :)

Great Foods, Great Time Together!

I would like to personally thank Kak Sarah and her beloved husband for hosting a house warming party yesterday.

And for those who have no idea about the name, Kak Sarah was my one of my classmates during the master's degree and we are going to be related since my second cousin is going to tie the knot with Kak Sarah's twin sister, Kak Nasirah.

How small the world could be for all of us, right? And that reminds me of one of Ayah's most precious advice, "Jangan pernah berbuat jahat pada sesiapa. Dunia ni kecil sahaja...", he said to me a few years ago. True enough, I'd came across a few experiences which have proved that piece of advice to be true. "Tak rugi dengar nasihat orang tua", I told myself repeatedly.

Coming back to the main topic, Kak Sarah has moved into a new house in Klang with her beloved husband. And her generosity has allowed us to be invited to their house warming party and we were served with lots of dishes, delicious ones, to be exact! Here, I would like to congratulate Kak Sarah and Abg. Sham (the husband) for successfully organizing a simple yet meaningful party.

I tell you, people...the foods were great! And they were coupled with great moments spent together with classmates attending the party- Kak Azwa, Kak Yan, Kak Mimi, Kak Mira, Zue, Ina, Jay and Shikin including me who wittingly came with an empty stomach as much I knew that Kak Sarah would be serving good foods to stuffed my big-empty stomach!

In the first place, I was quite upset knowing that the host was not cooking laksa ala Kedah for us. Oh let me tell you something, Kak Sarah's laksa is one of the best 'laksa experiences' I've had in my entire life. She's originally from Kedah, so we can't beat her 'air tangan' . So do I still need to mention that? ;p

But, I was all cheered up knowing that she has prepared the very special 'ayam masak serai', which is definitely one of her specialties. People, you guys gotta try this, it's super delicious. Take my words, y'all. Considering that I'm not the one who came with big-empty stomach, I left some for orang belakang, after 'swallowing' six big pieces of chickens. Big-time eater, tell me..~

Last but not least, I would like to congratulate (again) Kak Sarah and Abg. Sham for successfully moving into the new house. My prayers will always be with you guys, insyaALLAH. May Allah SWT bless the home with lots of happiness, eternal love, wealth and adorable kids, ameen.

To the rest of the classmates, you guys are awesome!

Time Flies...~

It was the end of December 2006 when I first registered as a postgraduate student in Universiti Teknologi MARA (UiTM), Shah Alam.

I can clearly remember moments that took place during the day. Amidst the fact that I was not so well on that particular day, happiness was mushrooming inside me. "I am finally back to school!", I spoke to myself.

Two years flew just like that. I still remember the painful-yet-exciting-journey I had experienced throughout the duration. What is life without challenges, right?

One thing for sure, I have learned a lot, more than the years can count. All I know for sure, the challenges and happiness- both delineated great experiences that will permanently remembered in my whole life!

Before the enrollment, I was haunted by all sorts of daunting thoughts and questions- "Can I make it throughout the two unpromising years?", "Am I going to be able to mix up with new classmates, many of whom I had no idea about their interests and preferences?", "Who is going to be my tablemate?", etc. Oh yes, I had more than those worrying thoughts, more than reasons could explain.

I did ask myself, "How does it feel being a postgraduate student who have to reach 3.75 and above in order to be in the Dean's list and have to be in the list for two consecutive semesters to be eligible to graduate with distinction?" Strewth, those questions haunted me horribly!

I attended to those worrying questions myself. I was reluctant to share with anyone else, especially my beloved parents as much as I do not want them to be worried. Moreover, I was out of a clue of how I can explain the state of feeling I had at that time to others.

So I told myself that it is just a matter of time. I strongly believed that time is the best healer and with careful steps, everything will always be in place.

I kept telling myself that it was my decision to pursue master's degree, no one forced me to do so. In fact, I should be thankful to Allah SWT for granting my doa to be there and I am forever thankful to my parents for their continuous doa and moral supports which helped me to pull through.

Alhamdulillah, from the first day I walked into the class, I knew that Allah SWT has granted my doa. Not to mention the nitty-gritty incidents that happened especially during the first semester, I wholeheartedly loved the classes I attended throughout the two years in school.

My exciting and beloved classmates were among the reasons which have encouraged me not to miss class unreasonably. And above all, I cannot be thankful enough to my dear mentors and lecturers who have continuously given to me their restless supports and best wishes, thus injected me with strong spirit to work harder from time to time.

I have learned something precious from my master's degree experience: "We won't be able to really be sure about something, not until we did it".

It is all right to anticipate things, but just make sure that we won't be carried away too far with the thoughts. Always expect for the worse, therefore we will not take things for granted and never be too confident is always the rule of thumb to seize victory, I believe.

Alhamdulillah, me and my classmates have accomplished our two years studies. A few of us went straight from bachelor degree to master whilst the rest entered postgraduate studies with bountiful working experiences from different fields. I believed that I was the one with least experience, but with constant contact with my classmates, I have picked experiences from here and there, from time to time. Alhamdulillah, again.

Everything I had with my classmates have added meaningful colors into my life and will be forever appreciated. I just hope that the friendship that has been built will stay there ever after, ameen. Finishing school does not mean that we are no longer connected. People come and go, but friendship lasts forever, innit? :)

To all my dearest classmates, CONGRATULATIONS for making it up to this level! All the best in your future endeavors.