An Official COMEBACK!

It has been AGES since my last post. Fine. Fine ;p

To all dear friends and followers, my deepest apology for not being able to update my blog in real time as I was badly caught in real tight schedule all these while. But hold on to my words, I will be continuously update my blog from now on as I am so in my SIX MONTHS holidays! Weee-weee...!~ ;)

Tonight I will not be writing anything serious anyway. I just need a perfect kick start for me to re-embark on my blogging activities like I used to be. Since I finished my studies couples of weeks ago, it was quite hard for me to pilfer some minutes for this as I have been 'fully booked' by family members and friends for quite a number of occasions.

So, I decided that I need to do it- even just a brief one- for the sake of bringing back the ideal momentum in me. Alhamdulillah, here I am :)

Will throw more updates very soon, insyaALLAH. At least now I know that I am already here, again.

Catch y'all later!~

English is for Everyone. Make Rooms for It!

I hope that it is not too late for me to talk (to write, actually) about this.

I really want to put a discourse for this one particular issue which have stirred much pandemic in Malaysia, especially amongst the scholars, school teachers, parents, the government and everyone who cares, really.

Recently, the government has announced the reversion of Mathematics and Science subjects to be taught in Malay language, in stages, starting in 2012. For those who deprecate this very decision (including me!), we have to realize that the kids in school have less than three years to enjoy the hidden benefits of learning English.

Why did I say less than three years? It was very much because I strongly believe (I might be wrong, though) that as soon as the government made the announcement, the struggles and motivation to still teach those two subjects in English would decrease enormously. Yes, it is undeniably true that our schools will still conduct the subjects in English, but I am talking about the 'spirit' now. That is why I said that its going to be less than three years.

And those who have been dearly waiting for the government to make such a reversion would consider teaching Mathematics and Science in English as pivotal no more. Slowly but surely, the pupils are so getting back to the old track, and this situation is taking its place in the driver's seat even before 2012 says hi.

The government has its very own justifications for making this decision. And in today's newspaper, our Deputy Prime Minister, Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin, reiterated that the government's decision on the reversion is final. When justifying, the government explained that research done on the effectiveness of the usage of English in teaching Mathematics and Science have somehow jepopardized the overall examination results of pupils, especially those in the rural areas.

But then again, I am not so sure whether they have disclose the full research for the public to witness, or I might have overlooked at it. We can say that this decision is a benevolent action on one hand, yet daunting on the other.

Mathematics and Science are two very important subjects which will help our dear country to galvanize itself to be a country which can be deemed as a well developed one. When we talk about this, it is very much about going global (or glokal, whichever you think is best). To go global, the utmost thing is to speak the international language and Malay language can never be one, not even in 100 years to come. but English already is and will stay there permanently. Look, I am not depreciating my very own mother-tongue language, but this is about talking FACT, living in REALITY.

Well yes, on July 13, the government through the Education director-general, Tan Sri Alimuddin Mohd Don has made further announcement that to make way for English, they have decided to reduce the hours for three subjects (Music, Physical Education and Science) by 45 minutes each to accommodate for English language. Me myself thanked the government for this, although back in school Physical Education is one of my favourites! (Netball, softball, hockey and volleyball..Ouh, I miss those old days).

While this might be a pretty good news, but as a citizen, I am afraid still. First, we are talking about Mathematics and Science as the most important subjects to generate more desirable developments for Malaysia. Second, except English language, all subjects taught in local schools will be in Malay language and mother-tongue languages in national-type schools. Tan Sri Alimudin also said that the minister will encourage teachers to use English terms in teaching art subjects.

I think this is confusing, though. To use mix-language in teaching is definitely not a smart decision anyway. How can such an action encourage English proficiency amongst the school kids and Malaysians at large? Or are we leading ourselves to talk Mang-lish instead of pure Malay or English language? Please tell me that the answer is a big no.

The government definitely has heterogeneous interests to protect. So I guess, it is not merely on the government's shoulder to carry this thing. Parents, teachers and all individuals who care should really nail down this thing.

Do we really care? If the answer is a yes, then let's play our roles to cultivare English proficiency in ourselves, the kids and future generations alike. Let's encourage the usage of English in education as the course of learning goes beyond the clasroom.

Point taken. It's on us now. So good luck everyone!

Could You Please Return the Carts? Thank You.

I can count with my bare fingers how many times the shopping carts in most hypermarkets in Malaysia are heaped up properly. It's not too much of exaggeration if I say that at most times, the carts were found scattered all over the hypermarkets compounds, definitely not in proper places!

I can never understand the leading reason(s) for this condition. I am not condemning hastily, but I've been observing this for the past one year. Returning the carts to its proper places is another pandemic amongst Malaysians and this is a posteriori.

My mother is another Tesco, Bintang and Carefour's loyal customer. She has always got good reasons to go out for groceries shopping in those places but one thing for sure, she's not so fond with the idea shopping in Giant. So I bet I've made adequate observations on this very issue.

Well, the problem is not that severe in Bintang Hypermarket and Carefour compared to Tesco. The factor is simply obvious. The latter provides the carts for free. As for Bintang and Carefour, they require a Rm0.20 deposit from the customers to use their carts. So, for the sake of that Rm0.20, the people would take the pain to return the carts in proper places.

It made me ponder so bad.

How come it could be that hard for Malaysia to cultivate disciplines amongst its citizens? Remind you that we merely refer to this very problem now, let alone some other killing pandemics which could be the axiom of apotheosis of civility issues in this country.

Feel shame of our own people? But, if we fail to fix this very problem, shame on us twice!

We've always been proud living in a modern country like Malaysia. We claimed that we are highly civilized with the enormous technology advancement that have been taking place tremendously in Malaysia. But apparently, we've denied the very fact that we aren't acting enough like one.

Returning the carts to its proper places shouldn't be a biggie for citizens who proudly claimed themselves to be highly civilized. It's another form of social responsibility. We don't always think that the attendants in blue shirts should be doing that for us, right? Point taken now.

There's a common statement, "Orang Malaysia macamni la. Bukan nak fikir pasal orang lain. Janji lepas tengkuk dia, sudah!" I hate this statement. Neither you who are reading this, right? We aren't that selfish and we aren't cut to be heartless.

Come on, we can make a change. Let's start on this simple something. Or else, there's no use cursing others who depreciate and undermine our people.

To nurture good wills should cost less than Rm0.20. Innit true?

Please Learn PLEASE. Never Be Sorry to Say SORRY. Thank You for Saying THANK YOU

PLEASE and SORRY. Not to forget, THANK YOU.

Do they seem to be the hardest word? We make the choice. We choose to make them the hard ones amidst the fact that it's way easier to say them out rather than saying 'I love you' or 'I miss you' or 'I can never live this life without you' or say whatever!

As for me, you don't really have to remind me of how much you love or miss me, neither to say the latter if you can't really be good at saying those three words mentioned above.

It's bitter, but I've to admit it with a big yes that most Malaysians share this common problem. They always find it hard to thank although people have done them a big-time favor. Sorry seems to be the hardest word although it's clear that they have committed misconducts or wrongdoings. And instead of being polite by saying 'please', they tend to act like a snob. Feel offended now? Think again.

We needn't pay a single penny for saying a thank you, please and sorry. Neither that we need to think twice to say so. Say it when we have to say it without pondering longer.

There's another common thought amongst most Malaysians. We've always afraid of the people's reactions to us. We're afraid of not getting good responses from others when we say those words, so we would rather choose not to say any of them. Why should we think of the responses? And for the sake of egoism, we would rather retard the humanistic values. Think again.

I've got a few (many, to be exact!) experiences on this very issue. It's very common when we are using the lifts. Many of us tend to walk out of the lifts without thanking the person who really took the effort to pushed the door-open button as much as the person could just ignore the possibility that you might get stucked between the doors. It won't cost us anything to thank the person who have mind of your safety. It'll in fact encourage that very person and others witnessing it to be more generous.

Many Malaysians thought they're brilliant and civilised enough, especially those who lived in urban areas. They've always deemed themselves to be way better than others in many ways but in fact, their wisdom and values of civilization are evaporating. That would lead them to act like a dullard. That's what we normally find in our daily lives.

It's undoubtedly true that we're living in a very modern world now. But modernisation doesn't denote the idea of letting go the civic concerns and mutual respect between one another. The price shouldn't be that expensive anyway. So, why would we choose to make it costly now?

Malaysians, we don't need a reason to act generous. Think of this.

Sorry to offend anyone and thank you for the thoughts. Together, let's make a big change now. Please.

This One Needs No Title

As much as I should be hunting for contact details of the prospective informants for my thesis, I found myself doing this. My heart has been in dire need to spell out its smiles and cries since the last post.

But then again, I got so tied up with my crazy schedule these lately. Well, I am so bringing it on, now (Dear Thesis, I promise I'll come back to you as soon as I posted this one!).

First of all, I would like to convey my big thanks to Allah SWT for His blesses for the imperfect me. I just received one big good news last night. MOHE has approved my scholarship application.

Well that is just for what I am doing now. But, that is a positive indicator for what I have planned for my dear future. I am so keeping it first with me now. Not until I finally manage to prolong the scholarship for my studies, next year. Therefore, I guess I must not forget to thank MOHE likewise for its generosity.

A few days ago, I attended a public forum organized by the Institute of Ethnic Studies of Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM) at the Integrity Institute of Malaysia (IIM).

The almost-three-hours forum was moderated by Datin Paduka Marina Mahathir (I was even noted about this through her blog. So, thank you Rantings!) and the guest speaker was Prof. Dr. Aneez Esmail, from the University of Manchester, United Kingdom.

Suits with the current political and racial climate in Malaysia, 'RACE RELATIONS: The British Experience' was promised to be an enormously meaningful discourse for all Malaysians who are 'losing the grip', the grip of unity. I hope I got it right. I'll be writing another piece specifically on this one later on.

I have to be honest that all these while, I was caught in the state of ennui for quite some times. I am so not sure of its contributing factor, but seriously, I just can't deny the fact that I have been carried away too far from myself, from the real me.

However, I know that is the price I had to pay for engaging myself in the 'not-so-right business'. Not until I finally pulled myself to pull through that moronic condition. And in this case, I forever owe a big thank to a few persons who have been my shoulder to cry on and for being my strength when I was losing it badly.

Ties of tasks await me now. Toefl is just around the corner and I am so freaking out. Final semester will be raising its curtains very soon. 10 interviews are on my list (the number could grow more). I have to get my resumes done before September or else I can only dream of continuing my studies by next year. My Supervisor is expecting me to start my writing part as soon as the final semester kicks off. Thesis deadline is in October. Viva is expected to be in November.

It is killing me softly and I would be a piece of dead meat if I were to fail to accomplish them all. And for these, I cannot keep my worries in disguise. But then again, I refuse to be engrossed by disenchantment as much as I realize that my desired ambition is still way far from me.

I used to taking one step at a time. From now on, I am teaching myself to make double efforts for each and every steps that I take in order to for me to 'seize' my ambition in time, accordingly to my plan.

Strength, please stay with me. I need to keep the fortitude on green lights.

I Love Me.

At times I wondered, "Can I get the kiss of life again?". At times I felt like the pain-in-the-ass is still there. At times I was able to convinced myself that I make the choice. Although I can still feel the venom, but at least, it is not bleeding like a fountain anymore.

So does that means it is recuperating? I just hope so. I am hoping a big hope, indeed.

Looking at this life in retrospect, I know very well that 'I've been here, done this'. For more than once. Four times to be exact. Four times with great pains. Four times living in denial. Four times as a slave.

Can those four-times make me stronger to face this life?

Again, the choice is mine. I know I should be able to make the right decisions for my ownself. For my dear future. For the best of me. And for those who loved me.

I consoled myself by reminding me that it is my kismet. Written and fated to be so. Those are the promises I made to Allah SWT in the previous life, long before I was born. Iman and do'a are the best strengths that help me to pull through. Now that I have made that decision, I have to move on with this life.

There is no use for me making such a decision and still letting the soul be carried away with the old flows. I have to get back to the driver seat, now! The decision is so in my autonomous power. And if I were to let the autonomous powers of others to rule my life, I can be nominated as the foolish person of the year.

The catastrophe was now behind me. The worst of the time will remain as my history. The reality awaits and that is what I should focus myself from now on. I had devoted thesoul, heart and the brain for that something enough. Way too much, indeed. Now it is time for me to buckle up and move forward swiftly. InsyaAllah.

There is no turning back once I have made up my mind. The decision will stay right there, forever. InsyaAllah. I won't buy the casuistry. Please let me walk alone. I want to fly free now and I am so getting myself the wings.

I Love Me. So much.

Seeing Nimbus...Seeing Rainbow

Today, I was awakened by an unidentifiable something at around 6am. Well well, I consider that as normal for myself nowadays. But as soon as I opened my eyes, I wished myself to have a beutiful Saturday.

Mind to know the reason for that?

I am so going to gather up with my beloved besties today, including Kak Nick, one of my bestest seniors back in Convent years. We've been apart for ages. And I guess it is not too much of exaggeration if I say that today is another historic day for me to be able to meet her!

I know very well that the 'heart' is not doing a-oke these few weeks. It may have started months ago before I finally found myself not being able to take it anymore. At times, I pointed my finger at me, taking all blames for not making the right decision. Or at least, for not being able to make the right decision for myself. I realized, "Aku tidak tahu dimana harus memulakannya untuk mengakhiri sesuatu".

Life can be harder than this. I know that for sure. But then again, the decision is in our hands. We choose what we want in this life. It is very much about making the right decision. Being bold. Living a smart life. Learn from previous mistakes. Looking at experiences (both sweet and bitter) in retrospect.

Each time come to think of it, I choose to be happy. I choose to focus myself for myself. For my very own future. For my parents. For my beloved ones (people, you know who you are). For the bond between me and Allah SWT.

I realized that I am still very far from the person I really want to be. Still very far from what it takes to seize my ambition. And in order to get myself 'there', I should be able to make the right decisions in this life. To be courageous in facing obstacles. To always keep my Iman in whatever situation. InsyaAllah. And for things other than that, aku membiarkan Allah Taala suluhkan jawapannya.

I know I can help myself to pull through this nebulous condition. And only me can do so. So why would I choose to be sad?