INTAN.WRITES

What I Wanted To Be Is Not What I Am Now. But I am Truly Happy

2011-02-19T02:44:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid, I used to have several ambitions. Each time people asked, "What is your ambition?", different answers popped out from my mouth.

I wanted to be a lawyer, doctor, pilot and even a forensic specialist. Guess I was a little too ambitious back then?

But now, I felt blessed to be a person in a position to share knowledges and experiences with the new generations. And obvious enough, I had never thought to be a lecturer when I was still a school kid.

That is so life. Looking back in retrospect, it brought me to laughter and sometimes, tears. Life does not move in a straight line anyway.

The glitches used to be real pain in the ass, but it got its beauty when you look back from down a memory lane.

If I were to list down the glitches and the good ones, the former sure will outnumber the latter. Anyhow, the few best ones are more significant to my life than anything else.

As a matter of truth, the glitches had brought me to where I am today. If we believe in qada' and qadar, we will see the beautiful reasons for everything that had happened. And we will be thankful for the glitches!

I did not know what I exactly want to be when I was in school. None of the school I went to did stress on the importance of identifying and aiming for an ambition. I am not blaming off the school systems solely because I took part of the blame as well.

However, I do think that it is ultimately important for teachers to emphasize on this in every meeting with the pupils. Of course they are not in the position to tell the kids what they should be, but teachers are those in the right position to help the kids see their future.

University is the place where I learned tremendous lessons about life. I was lucky enough to have great mentors whom now I consider more than just teachers because their influences in me are like parents. When I was there, I knew that I want to be a person who is able to share a lot of things for the benefits of others.

Lessons can be learned in multiple ways. And I would say that most of the precious ones are earned not in classrooms. If we appreciate knowledge, we will learn about a lot of things almost anywhere, anytime.

Just one thing is needed- determination.

No, It's Not Always About Age

2011-02-18T00:47:00.000-08:00

The world has not turn upside down. But the ways we look at things should be revised. From time to time, perhaps.

Am not offending the very fact that age does matter. Anyhow, I personally do not think that we should undermine the capabilities of the youngsters.

Their experiences may not be as much as what the older ones have recorded, but just do not easily forget that they have this one thing- 'talent', it is.

And their heterogeneous talents bring will definitely help them to climb higher.

A few days ago, I was going through my wedding journal- a tiny book where I jot every single things related to my wedding. Then only I realized that 80 percent of the people involve in the making of this big day are youngsters! But they got talents I adore. Talents that are not in everyone, perhaps.

From the wedding dress, decorations for hantaran, dais, make-up, photographer and cinematographer to the canopies, all are with people who aged below 30 years old. Adding to the list a fact that should be proud of, all of them are Malays.

My dad is person hard to convince. Without substance, we can just forget to get him believe in something. But beautiful truth is, those young talents penetrated his resonance.

Although he is at times hard like a stone, but my dad strongly believes in talents of the youths.

Some people I met had vehemently criticized works done by the youths without even looking at the positive side of it. They just refuse to accept the very fact that the modern youths are not like what they had during their times back then.

I call people like these the 'outdated hidebound people'.

Youths of today are well educated, bold and their talents are much preferred by the modern people nowadays. It is going to be a big loss if we blatantly neglect what they got for the various industries this country offers.

One chance may lead to different opportunities in life. To give a chance does not cost us that much. It is all about investing a little trust.

And let's wait for the outcome. InsyaAllah, we will love to see what they can give to us.

Yes You Can Be Rich

2011-02-14T17:59:00.000-08:00

You can be rich. Everyone wants to be rich. And the fact is, no one can stop you from being one.

The Prophet SAW once told all Muslims that the biggest portion of strong income is generated from trading activities.

In short, it can be well comprehended that Islam encourages its followers to do business. Any businesses, as long as we follow the Islamic guidelines in doing it.

The guidelines are simple, though.

Just make sure that our businesses are free from what we call as al-riba'.

To some, the definition of al-riba' is whining. To me, it is not. If only you put some little efforts to find more about it.

Al-riba' means 'excess or increase'. To make it easier, it can be defined as the 'effortless profit or that profit which comes free from compensation or that extra earning obtained that is free of exchange'.

Under the New Economic Plan (NEP) put forth by the government of Malaysia, we have seen abundance of young Malay-Muslim entrepreneurs joining various fields of businesses. I got quite a number of friends from all over the country who are running their own businesses. This is something to be proud of, really.

Anyhow, my concern goes out to those businesspeople who failed to understand the concept of al-riba' and they are actually engaging the elements of riba' in thier businesses, unintentionally.

Some people reached out to this issue politically. But I personally do not see the connection between this particular outbreak with politics.

Under the umbrella of the Ministry of Finance, the government of Malaysia are providing monetary funds to all young Bumiputras entrepreneurs. The funds may not be that big, but the money has helped many of them to enter the world of lucrative businesses.

There are several payment methods offered by the government. All of them are free from the elements of al-riba'. Therefore, it is VERY unreasonable for the businesspeople operating under the various monetary schemes provided by the government to take the blame off from themselves.

Even if we put religion aside, engaging with al-riba' will never help us to do good business. In fact, it will inadvertently hushed away your potential clients. I was one of the potential clients who have hushed. Really.

Let's take a look at how many Chinese businesspeople designed their businesses.

Most of them rather go for volumes than one time big profit. They may not understand al-riba', but the way they bring it on is in tandem with this concept.

For those who are doing business, do remember that most of your modern clients are not plain stupid. They got brain, they think a lot. And you are not alone in this industry. If you choose to charge them unreasonably, you choose to lose them as well.

Yes you can be rich. Anytime.

Am Not Condemning

2011-02-14T08:04:00.000-08:00

I complimented the noble efforts done by the government of Malaysia rescuing our local students from the raging ground of Egypt.

Some said such efforts should have been done way earlier. Anyhow, the government has successfully brought home thousands of students, safe and sound.

Malaysians, especially the students and their families should be thankful for that. Really.

But recently, I read one of the Twitter updates by KOSMO! and I came across another Twitter update by NST that the students should bear the cost of their flight tickets to fly back to Egypt.

I am not devastated because I am literally not affected by this news.

But my true concern goes out to the ones affected- the students of course!

I have to admit that some of the students came from quite well-off families and they can afford the tickets anytime.

What about the ones who can barely afford the tickets?

It is true that most of the students are under scholarship and it provides cost for flight ticket as one of the benefits included.

But, it is also important for us to consider the cost of living that they will bear once they step foot back on the ground of Egypt. In one of the interviews with the students which I listened from the radio, she shared that prices of goods and food over there have rocketed.

I personally still believe that the prices will still be in the peak, at least for the next few months. We did learn from the history books, didn't we? A land devastated by war took years to 'recuperate'. And in the 'recuperating' process, the students have to bear expensive costs over there.

I hope that gave us enough reason to think. Perhaps re-think.

These students who are returning back to Egypt really hope for the generosity of our government to consider their conditions.

They are our precious assets in the future, it will sure be a worthwhile effort to help them, just one more time.

InsyaAllah.

Seven Months

2011-02-14T02:47:00.000-08:00

As much as I wanted to write and update this blog, I had unintentionally neglected it. For seven bold months.

A lot had happened throughout the time I failed to write.

The best thing was, me and him made decision to take a huge leap in our lives. With HIS permission and blessings, Alhamdulillah, today it has been four months since our engagement on 02.10.10. Two more months to go. Or 45 days more to go before our solemnization day. Exactly!

Resigning from job was another leap I took in life. I called it a leap because that was when I started my PhD studies. Something that brings me a step closer to my ambition. And I call it a commitment.

Although a year ago I was supposed to pursue my studies in South Australia, but I believed HE has a better plan that awaits me. I wish not to dwell much on that because that is so history. Bad things have led me to a whole lot of good things in life. That is how life works. Always.

Previously, every time I had this in my head, I would definitely cry till the eyes turned like the zombies. But when I started to see the beautiful blessings accompanying the fate, now I smile in gratitude for what HE has planned for me. Alhamdulillah once again.

The big time lesson is, never regret for what had happened. It sure will bring you to a better life ahead.

For the past two months, me, him and both families are busy making the preparations for the wedding which is due in April.

As for me and my fiance, we are working on one thing at a time because we both wish not to miss anything important falling out from the checklist. This may be a good approach for couples who are simultaneously moving with the plan.

However, I do admit that time is always a big challenge for many of us. So, it depends on other commitments that we are having in this life. For couples who are all tight up to a strict schedule, I do believe that there are some other ways to get things done before the ceremony.

Once you have identified your situation, it will be easier to plan ahead.

As for me and him, there are still a lot to do although we work on our plan on a daily basis. We just hope that we will be able to get the things done before April kicks in. InsyaAllah.

Time is envying not only me and him, but everyone else. I believe. Anyhow, one of my mentors used to tell me, "There's always a time for those who are able to manage it well". Ponder no more, just bring it on!

I always reminded myself that as much as I want to make sure everything will move smoothly throughout the ceremonies that will be held soon, I choose to prepare myself to be a solehah wife, a good mother, a good daughter and a good sister for my beloved ones more than anything else.

The ceremonies are just a matter of a few days, but living with the commitment is going to be in in every single breath I take till the end of my life.

All in all, life is way better now than before. Alhamdulillah, ya Allah.

Semangat Baru!

2010-07-11T19:44:00.000-07:00

The octopus is enjoying a great celebration made especially for him now and for the next few weeks, maybe. Yes, he is just another living octopus, but 'special'.

Since day one of this year's FIFA, football fanatics from all over the world turned for Paul's prediction on the winning team for the most-looked-forward games.

For football, Paul has done a great job. For the past one month, we got the answers, although Paul's prediction was said to be only 80 percent accurate.

However, it is just a football game. Even if we choose to listen to Paul and say apparently he made an inaccurate prediction, it does not cost a life, still. Football fanatics could live in frustration over the results, but technically, it will not last forever.

But, what if we made a wrong choice for our lives? Do we choose to use the psyche octopus to tell us about our future?

A definite no.

Bookies say they are the biggest suckers as Paul has cost them up to half a million squid. But hey, losing half a million dollar is nothing to compare with losing half of your soul over the wrong decision made for our dear own future.

I've been there and done that. Once is enough. Twice made me a loser. But, what if my case is five? Complete loser? Tell me about it.

Some decisions I made in my life had cost me a lot. But I am not losing grip, still. With constant prayers, hopes, big-time efforts and iman, I managed to pull through the hardest and most challenging paths in my life. Nothing will come to you easily - I totally understand this.

Amidst the major flaws that took place in my life, Allah SWT has granted my doa and brought me closer to my ambition. Alhamdulillah.

Education, checked. Career checked.

I am contented.

However, I can still see a gigantic question mark on the other side of my life. Somehow or rather, I have made a promise to both of my parents about this. And I have also made an important promise to myself. I will rather see the question mark for the next few years, rather than making a wrong decision.

What if I manage to decipher an answer within a short time? I will then kill the gigantic question mark. And he will get a name. As being promised.

I need no octopus' assistance for this.

Fingers crossed!

Yes, I am so BACK

2010-05-08T18:27:00.000-07:00

It has been a few months since my last post. Or even bad than that.

The job has taken too much from me. But I am loving it though. This is what I really want to do.

To teach, to share knowledge and to gain precious experiences are things I insisted doing. I have been teaching for almost a semester without I am actually realizing it. How time flies! But yes yes, I dearly love what I am doing now!

It is always good to understand that everything is in place now though it was quite rocky in the beginning. I think learning it the hard way is the best approach to learn life better. So I did.

Each single things that took place throughout the process were too new for me. Meeting the students, teaching, composing and marking assignments, consulting, preparing the tests , examination questions and marking and scolding the students - everything for the 'very first time'!

I did get upset over the students' attitude at times, but most of the time I love them more, or I must say EVEN more!

I have come to realized that working in a private institution is way more challenging than working anywhere else, let alone being a government servant. If you question a why, take a read more: the students are demanding, different ways to approach students from 150 distinctive cultural backgrounds, language barriers, competing philosophies with the employer and to fit in an eco-system which is TOTALLY different from the conventional higher learning institution.

I resist to consider my students as mere clients. To me, they are CLIENTS to a better world. Therefore, I always believe that they should not be treated like a king- instead,they got to be trained to be KINGS and LEADERS for a brighter world.

They should not be spoiled and over-pampered. They should get the chance to unleash their wisdom, expand their knowledge and be the man for their nations and for the world.

Don't you think so?

A Doubtful New Week

2010-01-23T20:09:00.000-08:00

"Bila nak kerja? Asyik belajar je...", many have asked me this.

And I remember, I used to answer it this way, "Er, Intan belum mentally prepared to work la".

But when I come to think of it again and over again, I was not that 'mentally unprepared' to enter the next phase of life. It was primarily because 'I hold so tightly to my ambition' and could not compromise it with anything else, not at all.

Obstinate! Yea, tell me about it. Tell me whatever. I knew that I had to hold very tightly to my ambition and in order to be there, I have to follow my long-term plan- something that is neither written in a diary nor on a board. I kept it safely inside my head.

No, I am not saying that I've successfully achieved my dreams and ambition.

But yes, I am still making steps before I can finally 'be there'. From baby steps to where I exactly stand today. Navigating myself towards the direction is the toughest task I have ever had. But yes, the results tell me that it worth every single pain.

Tomorrow will marks the beginning of a new chapter in my life- I'll be in office! It will be the very first working day in my 25-year life! This is what I recognize as a 'nauseous excitement'.

I have officially accepted the offer by the Limkokwing University of Creative Technology as a lecturer and expected to report duty on January 25, 2010. Alhamdulillah. Me myself still hardly believing that I will step into a new phase in life and which is due in couples of hours from now.

I am forever thankful to Allah SWT for all of his blessings. I am a sinful servant of His, but He has granted my prayer and eased the winding path of this life. Despite the challenges, the strength and iman He has given to me have brought me to where I am today. Alhamdulillah.

As a person who has zero teaching experience, I am not hoping for a wonderful first day in office. But yes, I am hoping a big hope that everything will falls in place for me tomorrow and the following days. I am still reminding myself that regardless how ugly it could be, the hardships will be a beautiful experience for me, thus added meaningful colors to my life.

InsyaALLAH.

Teaching is my biggest passion. I consider the position as a lecturer more than just a 'career'. The notion is ultimately noble, thus there is a pressing need for me to bear in mind that I should perform it responsibly. Ameen ya robbal 'alamin.

Though I will start working tomorrow, but I am still after my biggest dream.

Climbing, still.

Yes, You May Write

2010-01-12T17:08:00.000-08:00

I may not be the right person in the right position to talk about this. But hell yes, the new media has enabled everyone, including me to have our says online.

That means the new media is giving everyone who has the access to the Internet an equal chance to speak their minds. In this case, I thank the new media a million thanks. I believe that everyone else is thanking the new media likewise.

The impacts of thew new media, especially blogging activities is compulsive amidst the very fact that the presence of new media isn't meant to be a mean to harm one another or to create 'war online'. I strongly believed that it depends on us- the 'active media users'- how we take the means available with us in our daily lives.

If we take them as means for all noble intentions, then we'll definitely enjoy the pleasuring results in the end. In the other hand, if we use it as a weaponry medium, than we should be mentally and physically prepared to anticipating the possible consequences. Before going deeper, I would like to emphasize here that for this post, I specially focuses on 'blog'- the most pervasive means made available by the new media.

Fine. I do totally understand that in the course of triggering something to change, there will definitely be certain consequences that should be taken into account. In other words, there is a price to pay for whatever we said. Not everybody will buy everything we say because opinions tend to be very subjective, accordingly to how the individuals perceived things.

It's important for all bloggers to accept one simple rule of thumb- everyone does not root for one same idea. Why? One simple reason to justify this- people do have their own perceptions, thus mold their individual opinions.

Reasonable bloggers eventually succumbed to this rule and shouldn't be way too offended. Take the differences as meaningful colors to this life. Or in simpler words, just take it positively and things gonna be a-oke!

There's another pivotal something which has always been in my head. It's all about how we write or speak about things we concerned about. For those who came from journalistic background, there's one common saying- "Mata pena lebih tajam daripada pedang". Whatever we write can help to 'make or break someone' and this has added a pressing need for all bloggers to be able to write rationally and without engaging too much of emotional expressions.

We write to make things better. We write for what's right and it's our definite right to write anything in the blog. I root for that very philosophy because I personally understand the importance of creating a free marketplace of ideas for a democratic country like Malaysia. People's ideas could be a precious assets for the country to achieve its log-term vision.

But the citizens need to be able to write inoffensively. We aren't up for creating an online war which will jeopardize the people and the country altogether. Based on my experience, I find it easier to write inoffensively rather than writing to showing flaming anger. So, why would we choose the hard way to get things done, innit?

Many hidebound professional journalists are reluctant to recognize the works by bloggers primarily because they believe that bloggers aren't writing professionally. Accordingly to the journalism rules, a professional writer (be it a reporter, columnist, blogger, etc) should be writing objectively; without engaging his or her personal judgments and emotion. Well, professional bloggers who understand this normally came from journalistic background or they understand the notion of doing journalism the right way.

Based on my observation, I firmly believe that someday somehow our people who are actively blogging will get to this point. It's just a matter of time. We are still very new to the new media if compared with people from developed countries. So, eventualities like these are part of the learning curve for all of us.

Blogger need to be responsible for everything they post in their blogs. Bloggers need to anticipate the possible consequences over what they posted online. On top of that, bloggers need to be able to understand journalism to avoid undesirable outcomes. After all, we aren't writing for ourselves. Innit true, people?

Yes, we may write.
But write with brain.
Not with emotion.

Happy blogging, everyone!

In Full Smile!

2009-12-16T06:04:00.000-08:00

I can never be happier to know that Allah SWT has granted my doa. Thank you, Allah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

A week ago, I met one of the RMIT University's representatives at the Australian Education Fair held in PJ Hilton. I received a notification email from the International Relations Officer of the institution regarding the education fair and he asked me to meet their representative, Kenneth Eu at the event. So I did.

I am good to submit my application letter to both University of Adelaide and RMIT University, but can't do so, not until I receive a consent from the potential supervisor(s) at those institution to take me as a student under their supervision for my Ph.D.

I wasn't devastated but quite sad when he told me so.

But I kept reminding myself that it's not that easy to get things done. "Kejayaan takkan datang bergolek tanpa usaha", Ayah once said to me and each time uneasiness and sadness seized me, I remind myself of Ayah's piece of valueless advice. And on top of that, I have always told myself of HIS promise- 'Allah SWT hanya akan membantu umat yang membantu dirinya sendiri'.

So I did as being told by Kenneth. When I was writing the email, I prayed very hard to HIM in my heart. I remember Kenneth told me that it's not easy to get a supervisor to approve the proposal, especially in this festive season since most of them are on long Christmas leave.

As soon as I got back, I sat before my laptop, writing emails to those potential supervisors from both University of Adelaide and RMIT University. Deep in my heart, I kept telling myself that I might need to try again and again as it's not easy to get their consent. So I prayed again.

I checked my email the following day. It's the biggest surprise in my life receiving a reply from one of those potential supervisor I contacted on the other day! The surprise gets bigger he told me that he's very interested in my proposed research topic and gave his consent to take me as a Ph.D student under his supervision. Without I'm actually realizing it, tears dropped down my face. Ya Allah, terima kasih!

I would also like to thank the person I meant, Dr. Chika Anyanwu, for his willingness to take me as one of his students. The opportunity given by Allah Taala to me will never be wasted, that's my vow. InsyaALLAH.

Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah.

I've promised myself to be a better person everyday. Ameen.

Mission Accomplished. Alhamdulillah.

2009-12-10T18:19:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a big day for me and all of my classmates, I believe.

Alhamdulillah, I got my final examination results at around 9.55pm. From that moment onwards, I finally know that I've graduated my master's degree- Master of Mass Communication, to be exact. Alhamdulillah again and again.

I can't be explaining how relieved I was looking at my GPA for final semester and overall CGPA. I feel so blessed knowing that I managed to increased my CGPA as that's what most important for me in qualifying me for Ph.D candidature next year.

When I first viewed my result slip online, I was jiggered and stunned. I hardly believed what my eye balls saw on the laptop screen. I had never imagine getting such a result. Thank you, Allah Taala. Though I was happy with my GPA, my I am happier knowing that I've improved my CGPA. Alhamdulillah.

I've been told by my classmates that senate will release our examination result yesterday, but yes, it was so hard for me to squeezed into the congested network to check my result. UiTM has more than half a million students checking their results nationwide, during the same hours. So, tell me about that ;p

There is no word to explain how bad I suffered waiting for the moment to check my final result. I couldn't make a single guess about it, not even a rough target of what I'll be getting as I had no idea of how good or how bad I did my assignments and examinations. It was a jittery day for me, anxiously waiting for the senate to release the students' results.

My mentors continuously explained that the victory is due to my own works. But to me, and I know for sure, I won't be here and I won't be the person I am today without the help, doa, guidance and support from my beloved parents, my mentors (Assoc. Prof. Dr.Halimahton, Prof. Dr.Bukhory, Assoc. Prof. Dr.Haidar, Prof. Roslena & Assoc. Prof Rosni), my best friends (Alys, Farha, Tiqah, Elena & Hazah plus the rest of the girls!) and also my dearest classmates in Mc770 batch 2007-2009.

I am nobody without them. Seriously. So, I would like to congratulate them as well for being the greatest parents, greatest mentors and greatest friends on planet earth! I love all of you, wholeheartedly.

And on top of all that, I would like to express my utmost gratitude to Allah SWT for according me with knowledge, inspirations, patience and health throughout my studies and I know very well that I won't be able to stand up to this level without the helps from HIM. I feel so blessed and I can't stop thanking Allah Taala for the blessings he has given to me, amidst the wrongdoings and all bad things I've done in my life. Thank you, Allah for granting my doa.

Last but not least, I would like to exclusively thank one person- a man who has been there during my ups and downs. I know I can't thank him enough for all patience, moral supports, doa and helping hand he lend to me so far to make things easier for me. You know who you are :)

To the rest of my classmates, CONGRATULATIONS y'all! See you on the convocation day in May 2010. I can't wait :)

Great Foods, Great Time Together!

2009-12-05T18:56:00.000-08:00

I would like to personally thank Kak Sarah and her beloved husband for hosting a house warming party yesterday.

And for those who have no idea about the name, Kak Sarah was my one of my classmates during the master's degree and we are going to be related since my second cousin is going to tie the knot with Kak Sarah's twin sister, Kak Nasirah.

How small the world could be for all of us, right? And that reminds me of one of Ayah's most precious advice, "Jangan pernah berbuat jahat pada sesiapa. Dunia ni kecil sahaja...", he said to me a few years ago. True enough, I'd came across a few experiences which have proved that piece of advice to be true. "Tak rugi dengar nasihat orang tua", I told myself repeatedly.

Coming back to the main topic, Kak Sarah has moved into a new house in Klang with her beloved husband. And her generosity has allowed us to be invited to their house warming party and we were served with lots of dishes, delicious ones, to be exact! Here, I would like to congratulate Kak Sarah and Abg. Sham (the husband) for successfully organizing a simple yet meaningful party.

I tell you, people...the foods were great! And they were coupled with great moments spent together with classmates attending the party- Kak Azwa, Kak Yan, Kak Mimi, Kak Mira, Zue, Ina, Jay and Shikin including me who wittingly came with an empty stomach as much I knew that Kak Sarah would be serving good foods to stuffed my big-empty stomach!

In the first place, I was quite upset knowing that the host was not cooking laksa ala Kedah for us. Oh let me tell you something, Kak Sarah's laksa is one of the best 'laksa experiences' I've had in my entire life. She's originally from Kedah, so we can't beat her 'air tangan' . So do I still need to mention that? ;p

But, I was all cheered up knowing that she has prepared the very special 'ayam masak serai', which is definitely one of her specialties. People, you guys gotta try this, it's super delicious. Take my words, y'all. Considering that I'm not the one who came with big-empty stomach, I left some for orang belakang, after 'swallowing' six big pieces of chickens. Big-time eater, tell me..~

Last but not least, I would like to congratulate (again) Kak Sarah and Abg. Sham for successfully moving into the new house. My prayers will always be with you guys, insyaALLAH. May Allah SWT bless the home with lots of happiness, eternal love, wealth and adorable kids, ameen.

To the rest of the classmates, you guys are awesome!

Time Flies...~

2009-12-03T16:30:00.000-08:00

It was the end of December 2006 when I first registered as a postgraduate student in Universiti Teknologi MARA (UiTM), Shah Alam.

I can clearly remember moments that took place during the day. Amidst the fact that I was not so well on that particular day, happiness was mushrooming inside me. "I am finally back to school!", I spoke to myself.

Two years flew just like that. I still remember the painful-yet-exciting-journey I had experienced throughout the duration. What is life without challenges, right?

One thing for sure, I have learned a lot, more than the years can count. All I know for sure, the challenges and happiness- both delineated great experiences that will permanently remembered in my whole life!

Before the enrollment, I was haunted by all sorts of daunting thoughts and questions- "Can I make it throughout the two unpromising years?", "Am I going to be able to mix up with new classmates, many of whom I had no idea about their interests and preferences?", "Who is going to be my tablemate?", etc. Oh yes, I had more than those worrying thoughts, more than reasons could explain.

I did ask myself, "How does it feel being a postgraduate student who have to reach 3.75 and above in order to be in the Dean's list and have to be in the list for two consecutive semesters to be eligible to graduate with distinction?" Strewth, those questions haunted me horribly!

I attended to those worrying questions myself. I was reluctant to share with anyone else, especially my beloved parents as much as I do not want them to be worried. Moreover, I was out of a clue of how I can explain the state of feeling I had at that time to others.

So I told myself that it is just a matter of time. I strongly believed that time is the best healer and with careful steps, everything will always be in place.

I kept telling myself that it was my decision to pursue master's degree, no one forced me to do so. In fact, I should be thankful to Allah SWT for granting my doa to be there and I am forever thankful to my parents for their continuous doa and moral supports which helped me to pull through.

Alhamdulillah, from the first day I walked into the class, I knew that Allah SWT has granted my doa. Not to mention the nitty-gritty incidents that happened especially during the first semester, I wholeheartedly loved the classes I attended throughout the two years in school.

My exciting and beloved classmates were among the reasons which have encouraged me not to miss class unreasonably. And above all, I cannot be thankful enough to my dear mentors and lecturers who have continuously given to me their restless supports and best wishes, thus injected me with strong spirit to work harder from time to time.

I have learned something precious from my master's degree experience: "We won't be able to really be sure about something, not until we did it".

It is all right to anticipate things, but just make sure that we won't be carried away too far with the thoughts. Always expect for the worse, therefore we will not take things for granted and never be too confident is always the rule of thumb to seize victory, I believe.

Alhamdulillah, me and my classmates have accomplished our two years studies. A few of us went straight from bachelor degree to master whilst the rest entered postgraduate studies with bountiful working experiences from different fields. I believed that I was the one with least experience, but with constant contact with my classmates, I have picked experiences from here and there, from time to time. Alhamdulillah, again.

Everything I had with my classmates have added meaningful colors into my life and will be forever appreciated. I just hope that the friendship that has been built will stay there ever after, ameen. Finishing school does not mean that we are no longer connected. People come and go, but friendship lasts forever, innit? :)

To all my dearest classmates, CONGRATULATIONS for making it up to this level! All the best in your future endeavors.

An Official COMEBACK!

2009-11-23T04:50:00.000-08:00

It has been AGES since my last post. Fine. Fine ;p

To all dear friends and followers, my deepest apology for not being able to update my blog in real time as I was badly caught in real tight schedule all these while. But hold on to my words, I will be continuously update my blog from now on as I am so in my SIX MONTHS holidays! Weee-weee...!~ ;)

Tonight I will not be writing anything serious anyway. I just need a perfect kick start for me to re-embark on my blogging activities like I used to be. Since I finished my studies couples of weeks ago, it was quite hard for me to pilfer some minutes for this as I have been 'fully booked' by family members and friends for quite a number of occasions.

So, I decided that I need to do it- even just a brief one- for the sake of bringing back the ideal momentum in me. Alhamdulillah, here I am :)

Will throw more updates very soon, insyaALLAH. At least now I know that I am already here, again.

Catch y'all later!~

English is for Everyone. Make Rooms for It!

2009-07-16T20:44:00.000-07:00

I hope that it is not too late for me to talk (to write, actually) about this.

I really want to put a discourse for this one particular issue which have stirred much pandemic in Malaysia, especially amongst the scholars, school teachers, parents, the government and everyone who cares, really.

Recently, the government has announced the reversion of Mathematics and Science subjects to be taught in Malay language, in stages, starting in 2012. For those who deprecate this very decision (including me!), we have to realize that the kids in school have less than three years to enjoy the hidden benefits of learning English.

Why did I say less than three years? It was very much because I strongly believe (I might be wrong, though) that as soon as the government made the announcement, the struggles and motivation to still teach those two subjects in English would decrease enormously. Yes, it is undeniably true that our schools will still conduct the subjects in English, but I am talking about the 'spirit' now. That is why I said that its going to be less than three years.

And those who have been dearly waiting for the government to make such a reversion would consider teaching Mathematics and Science in English as pivotal no more. Slowly but surely, the pupils are so getting back to the old track, and this situation is taking its place in the driver's seat even before 2012 says hi.

The government has its very own justifications for making this decision. And in today's newspaper, our Deputy Prime Minister, Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin, reiterated that the government's decision on the reversion is final. When justifying, the government explained that research done on the effectiveness of the usage of English in teaching Mathematics and Science have somehow jepopardized the overall examination results of pupils, especially those in the rural areas.

But then again, I am not so sure whether they have disclose the full research for the public to witness, or I might have overlooked at it. We can say that this decision is a benevolent action on one hand, yet daunting on the other.

Mathematics and Science are two very important subjects which will help our dear country to galvanize itself to be a country which can be deemed as a well developed one. When we talk about this, it is very much about going global (or glokal, whichever you think is best). To go global, the utmost thing is to speak the international language and Malay language can never be one, not even in 100 years to come. but English already is and will stay there permanently. Look, I am not depreciating my very own mother-tongue language, but this is about talking FACT, living in REALITY.

Well yes, on July 13, the government through the Education director-general, Tan Sri Alimuddin Mohd Don has made further announcement that to make way for English, they have decided to reduce the hours for three subjects (Music, Physical Education and Science) by 45 minutes each to accommodate for English language. Me myself thanked the government for this, although back in school Physical Education is one of my favourites! (Netball, softball, hockey and volleyball..Ouh, I miss those old days).

While this might be a pretty good news, but as a citizen, I am afraid still. First, we are talking about Mathematics and Science as the most important subjects to generate more desirable developments for Malaysia. Second, except English language, all subjects taught in local schools will be in Malay language and mother-tongue languages in national-type schools. Tan Sri Alimudin also said that the minister will encourage teachers to use English terms in teaching art subjects.

I think this is confusing, though. To use mix-language in teaching is definitely not a smart decision anyway. How can such an action encourage English proficiency amongst the school kids and Malaysians at large? Or are we leading ourselves to talk Mang-lish instead of pure Malay or English language? Please tell me that the answer is a big no.

The government definitely has heterogeneous interests to protect. So I guess, it is not merely on the government's shoulder to carry this thing. Parents, teachers and all individuals who care should really nail down this thing.

Do we really care? If the answer is a yes, then let's play our roles to cultivare English proficiency in ourselves, the kids and future generations alike. Let's encourage the usage of English in education as the course of learning goes beyond the clasroom.

Point taken. It's on us now. So good luck everyone!

Could You Please Return the Carts? Thank You.

2009-06-21T01:27:00.000-07:00

I can count with my bare fingers how many times the shopping carts in most hypermarkets in Malaysia are heaped up properly. It's not too much of exaggeration if I say that at most times, the carts were found scattered all over the hypermarkets compounds, definitely not in proper places!

I can never understand the leading reason(s) for this condition. I am not condemning hastily, but I've been observing this for the past one year. Returning the carts to its proper places is another pandemic amongst Malaysians and this is a posteriori.

My mother is another Tesco, Bintang and Carefour's loyal customer. She has always got good reasons to go out for groceries shopping in those places but one thing for sure, she's not so fond with the idea shopping in Giant. So I bet I've made adequate observations on this very issue.

Well, the problem is not that severe in Bintang Hypermarket and Carefour compared to Tesco. The factor is simply obvious. The latter provides the carts for free. As for Bintang and Carefour, they require a Rm0.20 deposit from the customers to use their carts. So, for the sake of that Rm0.20, the people would take the pain to return the carts in proper places.

It made me ponder so bad.

How come it could be that hard for Malaysia to cultivate disciplines amongst its citizens? Remind you that we merely refer to this very problem now, let alone some other killing pandemics which could be the axiom of apotheosis of civility issues in this country.

Feel shame of our own people? But, if we fail to fix this very problem, shame on us twice!

We've always been proud living in a modern country like Malaysia. We claimed that we are highly civilized with the enormous technology advancement that have been taking place tremendously in Malaysia. But apparently, we've denied the very fact that we aren't acting enough like one.

Returning the carts to its proper places shouldn't be a biggie for citizens who proudly claimed themselves to be highly civilized. It's another form of social responsibility. We don't always think that the attendants in blue shirts should be doing that for us, right? Point taken now.

There's a common statement, "Orang Malaysia macamni la. Bukan nak fikir pasal orang lain. Janji lepas tengkuk dia, sudah!" I hate this statement. Neither you who are reading this, right? We aren't that selfish and we aren't cut to be heartless.

Come on, we can make a change. Let's start on this simple something. Or else, there's no use cursing others who depreciate and undermine our people.

To nurture good wills should cost less than Rm0.20. Innit true?

Please Learn PLEASE. Never Be Sorry to Say SORRY. Thank You for Saying THANK YOU

2009-06-19T07:40:00.000-07:00

PLEASE and SORRY. Not to forget, THANK YOU.

Do they seem to be the hardest word? We make the choice. We choose to make them the hard ones amidst the fact that it's way easier to say them out rather than saying 'I love you' or 'I miss you' or 'I can never live this life without you' or say whatever!

As for me, you don't really have to remind me of how much you love or miss me, neither to say the latter if you can't really be good at saying those three words mentioned above.

It's bitter, but I've to admit it with a big yes that most Malaysians share this common problem. They always find it hard to thank although people have done them a big-time favor. Sorry seems to be the hardest word although it's clear that they have committed misconducts or wrongdoings. And instead of being polite by saying 'please', they tend to act like a snob. Feel offended now? Think again.

We needn't pay a single penny for saying a thank you, please and sorry. Neither that we need to think twice to say so. Say it when we have to say it without pondering longer.

There's another common thought amongst most Malaysians. We've always afraid of the people's reactions to us. We're afraid of not getting good responses from others when we say those words, so we would rather choose not to say any of them. Why should we think of the responses? And for the sake of egoism, we would rather retard the humanistic values. Think again.

I've got a few (many, to be exact!) experiences on this very issue. It's very common when we are using the lifts. Many of us tend to walk out of the lifts without thanking the person who really took the effort to pushed the door-open button as much as the person could just ignore the possibility that you might get stucked between the doors. It won't cost us anything to thank the person who have mind of your safety. It'll in fact encourage that very person and others witnessing it to be more generous.

Many Malaysians thought they're brilliant and civilised enough, especially those who lived in urban areas. They've always deemed themselves to be way better than others in many ways but in fact, their wisdom and values of civilization are evaporating. That would lead them to act like a dullard. That's what we normally find in our daily lives.

It's undoubtedly true that we're living in a very modern world now. But modernisation doesn't denote the idea of letting go the civic concerns and mutual respect between one another. The price shouldn't be that expensive anyway. So, why would we choose to make it costly now?

Malaysians, we don't need a reason to act generous. Think of this.

Sorry to offend anyone and thank you for the thoughts. Together, let's make a big change now. Please.

This One Needs No Title

2009-06-18T18:37:00.000-07:00

As much as I should be hunting for contact details of the prospective informants for my thesis, I found myself doing this. My heart has been in dire need to spell out its smiles and cries since the last post.

But then again, I got so tied up with my crazy schedule these lately. Well, I am so bringing it on, now (Dear Thesis, I promise I'll come back to you as soon as I posted this one!).

First of all, I would like to convey my big thanks to Allah SWT for His blesses for the imperfect me. I just received one big good news last night. MOHE has approved my scholarship application.

Well that is just for what I am doing now. But, that is a positive indicator for what I have planned for my dear future. I am so keeping it first with me now. Not until I finally manage to prolong the scholarship for my studies, next year. Therefore, I guess I must not forget to thank MOHE likewise for its generosity.

A few days ago, I attended a public forum organized by the Institute of Ethnic Studies of Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM) at the Integrity Institute of Malaysia (IIM).

The almost-three-hours forum was moderated by Datin Paduka Marina Mahathir (I was even noted about this through her blog. So, thank you Rantings!) and the guest speaker was Prof. Dr. Aneez Esmail, from the University of Manchester, United Kingdom.

Suits with the current political and racial climate in Malaysia, 'RACE RELATIONS: The British Experience' was promised to be an enormously meaningful discourse for all Malaysians who are 'losing the grip', the grip of unity. I hope I got it right. I'll be writing another piece specifically on this one later on.

I have to be honest that all these while, I was caught in the state of ennui for quite some times. I am so not sure of its contributing factor, but seriously, I just can't deny the fact that I have been carried away too far from myself, from the real me.

However, I know that is the price I had to pay for engaging myself in the 'not-so-right business'. Not until I finally pulled myself to pull through that moronic condition. And in this case, I forever owe a big thank to a few persons who have been my shoulder to cry on and for being my strength when I was losing it badly.

Ties of tasks await me now. Toefl is just around the corner and I am so freaking out. Final semester will be raising its curtains very soon. 10 interviews are on my list (the number could grow more). I have to get my resumes done before September or else I can only dream of continuing my studies by next year. My Supervisor is expecting me to start my writing part as soon as the final semester kicks off. Thesis deadline is in October. Viva is expected to be in November.

It is killing me softly and I would be a piece of dead meat if I were to fail to accomplish them all. And for these, I cannot keep my worries in disguise. But then again, I refuse to be engrossed by disenchantment as much as I realize that my desired ambition is still way far from me.

I used to taking one step at a time. From now on, I am teaching myself to make double efforts for each and every steps that I take in order to for me to 'seize' my ambition in time, accordingly to my plan.

Strength, please stay with me. I need to keep the fortitude on green lights.

I Love Me.

2009-06-02T17:49:00.000-07:00

At times I wondered, "Can I get the kiss of life again?". At times I felt like the pain-in-the-ass is still there. At times I was able to convinced myself that I make the choice. Although I can still feel the venom, but at least, it is not bleeding like a fountain anymore.

So does that means it is recuperating? I just hope so. I am hoping a big hope, indeed.

Looking at this life in retrospect, I know very well that 'I've been here, done this'. For more than once. Four times to be exact. Four times with great pains. Four times living in denial. Four times as a slave.

Can those four-times make me stronger to face this life?

Again, the choice is mine. I know I should be able to make the right decisions for my ownself. For my dear future. For the best of me. And for those who loved me.

I consoled myself by reminding me that it is my kismet. Written and fated to be so. Those are the promises I made to Allah SWT in the previous life, long before I was born. Iman and do'a are the best strengths that help me to pull through. Now that I have made that decision, I have to move on with this life.

There is no use for me making such a decision and still letting the soul be carried away with the old flows. I have to get back to the driver seat, now! The decision is so in my autonomous power. And if I were to let the autonomous powers of others to rule my life, I can be nominated as the foolish person of the year.

The catastrophe was now behind me. The worst of the time will remain as my history. The reality awaits and that is what I should focus myself from now on. I had devoted thesoul, heart and the brain for that something enough. Way too much, indeed. Now it is time for me to buckle up and move forward swiftly. InsyaAllah.

There is no turning back once I have made up my mind. The decision will stay right there, forever. InsyaAllah. I won't buy the casuistry. Please let me walk alone. I want to fly free now and I am so getting myself the wings.

I Love Me. So much.

Seeing Nimbus...Seeing Rainbow

2009-05-22T19:00:00.000-07:00

Today, I was awakened by an unidentifiable something at around 6am. Well well, I consider that as normal for myself nowadays. But as soon as I opened my eyes, I wished myself to have a beutiful Saturday.

Mind to know the reason for that?

I am so going to gather up with my beloved besties today, including Kak Nick, one of my bestest seniors back in Convent years. We've been apart for ages. And I guess it is not too much of exaggeration if I say that today is another historic day for me to be able to meet her!

I know very well that the 'heart' is not doing a-oke these few weeks. It may have started months ago before I finally found myself not being able to take it anymore. At times, I pointed my finger at me, taking all blames for not making the right decision. Or at least, for not being able to make the right decision for myself. I realized, "Aku tidak tahu dimana harus memulakannya untuk mengakhiri sesuatu".

Life can be harder than this. I know that for sure. But then again, the decision is in our hands. We choose what we want in this life. It is very much about making the right decision. Being bold. Living a smart life. Learn from previous mistakes. Looking at experiences (both sweet and bitter) in retrospect.

Each time come to think of it, I choose to be happy. I choose to focus myself for myself. For my very own future. For my parents. For my beloved ones (people, you know who you are). For the bond between me and Allah SWT.

I realized that I am still very far from the person I really want to be. Still very far from what it takes to seize my ambition. And in order to get myself 'there', I should be able to make the right decisions in this life. To be courageous in facing obstacles. To always keep my Iman in whatever situation. InsyaAllah. And for things other than that, aku membiarkan Allah Taala suluhkan jawapannya.

I know I can help myself to pull through this nebulous condition. And only me can do so. So why would I choose to be sad?

My Incautious Expression

2009-05-07T19:58:00.000-07:00

"Am I incensed?", I repeatedly asked myself . "No. I am not. I am not incensed. I am not disappointed. I am not sorrowful. I am numb". Yes, the latter is the correct interpretation. I would rather be numbed than thinking of the painful thoughts. I just don't want to bleed again. Ever. If only possible. I have had enough of that. At least, so far. 'Kekuatan hati yang berpegang janji'. Sebelum Cahaya got it all right.

When another promise is refuted, could that make me better frustrated? If the answer is a yes, then I bet I have to re-define the term, correctly this time. Accordingly to my very mould to match my very condition. Apparently, I knew I can never do that.

If the question is why, then here is my answer, "I have been carried away far from that, and I found myself not able to pick up the broken pieces". If the other question asks me what the heck am I doing now? My answer would probably be, "I am with the flow and it can take me wherever". I wouldn't stop, not until I reach the best resort, I guess.

'Jangan biarkan diri anda menjadi sesuatu yang pasti, kerana kelak anda tidak akan dihargai'. I have learned a lot from my previous mistakes. I am used to being stupid. Been a slave. Been there, done that. I thought Icould handle situation well. But it seems like it is getting out of my hands and have challenged my patience way too much. I just afraid that numb is all I have in me now and nothing else. Is that dangerous? I am not so sure. But I am sure that I am keeping up with my sanity. Plus, patience is bulding up. Alhamdulillah.

When you have given your very best for something, yet the result is not up to the par then it is wise to put another pilot test. This time, you still give your very best and lowering down the expectation because you thought that you could give enough rooms for the new seeds to grow on its own and most importantly you won't bleed that much. But apparently, there is no indicator of positve changes, let alone keeping up with your heart. Next, you give the bestest that you could ever do with null expectation because you do not want to burden the subject anymore and you yourself would bleed less. Still, it is not moving anywhere. Discussions over discussions have taken place and one day you feel like there is nothing left on the table. Have cried a river and one day you find yourself not understanding the purpose of crying. Bleed like a fountain and finally you're so numb. As if everything has been incinerated and you can see ashes everywhere. You tried to pick up the ashes, but found nothing else left in your grips than the dark marks.

The heart is stumbled and throwing me to the ground. Like completely. Hanya Engkau dihatiku, Ya Allah.

The Euphoric Effect

2009-05-06T02:23:00.000-07:00

It was really good to sleep with blinking stars and smiling moon looking at me. The angel read for me fairy tales to put me to sound sleep. I felt like sleeping the beuty!

Both of my alarm clock and cell phone bugged me sharp at 6.30am. I woke up all in bug-eyed knowing that I'll be meeting my bestie very soon. The beatific expression remains up until now. I just like the beauteous feeling I have in me now. Please stay there. Forever.

I worked accordingly to the plan me and my friend have arranged earlier. It's one of her important days working as the Pegawai Tadbir Diplomatk (PTD). She has picked me as her 'referee' for the today's interview. I reached her crib sharp at 8am. And we made our moves to the Jabatan Perdana Menteri (JPM) like fifteen minutes past eight.

It was just another busy morning in Putrajaya. Vehicles were vrooming here and there, left and right. I felt like a small bug hindred in the middle of abound hooligans. I hate it so much.

But I was pacified once I entered the office- beaus and beefcakes were almost everywhere! Me and my friend found it to be interesting for bachelors like us. Hoo-ha. Naughtiness was creeping in the two of us.

There is one thing for sure. Whenever I am with my besties, there is almost no chance for the silent moments from taking place between us. We are very good at gabfesting this and that. Everything that crossed our minds and eyes could possibly be another momentous experience that would lead us to great meriments.

We reached the second floor at around 8.45am. My friend's interview was scheduled to be at 9am. But both of us felt that it is always good to anticipate as we were expecting for the unexpected. Apparently, everything was in place and alhamdulillah. The invigilator called my friend at around 9.15am and thirty minutes after that, my turn came up.

I spent around 10 minutes in the room answering this and that but it's another cool experience for me. I like. The 'interrogation' by the special branch (SB) went smoothly, more than what I expected. Alhamdulillah again.

I made new friends. I had great new experience being interviewed by SB. I spent great time with my best friend. I observed pretty much today as I were brought to a place I've never been to. In simpler words, it was a beaut experience for me to empower myself better, in many ways. I always love golden opportunities like this.

As for tomorrow, I hope that I deserve another beauteous day. Again and again. More and more. I am crossing my fingers for myself. InsyaAllah.

P/s: I am writing this entry under great influence. Please excuse my insanity. I am half concious at the momento.

Quizzes: The Madness that We All Loved.

2009-05-04T20:30:00.000-07:00

The alarm was set to bug me at 6.30am, but I was awaken by the distracted mind at 5.30am, instead. I do not mind to start my day earlier than what I have planned, but I hate to be engrossed by uncertain thoughts. I feel like a moron sitting in my dark room and absorbed by very distractful thoughts. Up until now, I can still feel that something barking out-loud in my head.

Fine. I am so leaving it right there, at least for a while in order for me to earnestly look for the right way to kickstart my Tuesday.

When I was on my way home after my breakfast, I pulled at the newsstand. The uncle knows best what I was looking for and handed to me one. It has all good news about the country's economic condition on the front page, but my eyes were steadfasted on one of the small highlights on the top part of the paper- 'Mad About Crazy Facebook Quizzes'. Ah, it made me feels like I have been printed in the newspaper. I was jolted!

Should I say anything more about the quizzes we found in that fastest growing and effective network? We know it best, I know for sure! The consultant clinical psychologist, Paul Jambunathan advices the people not to take the quizzes seriously. Did we ever? I seriously don't think so. But I am not saying that the observation made by the scholars is inaccurate, but at least, it is inaccurate to justify me. I repeat, at least.

The quiz creator said he was doing it for fun and we are taking it likewise. Why in the world should we rely on the results generated by the itsy-bitsy quizzes? We know ourselves way better than the quizzes can tell! Obviously, those five to ten questions are not adequate enough to generate realiable results. But again, the quizzes and results are no biggie. No one will depends on that like it is another damning fact that should be seriously taken into account.

As for me, personally, my madness towards the quizzes could mean nothing more than the need for me to kill the time since I am still in the early phase of my holidays. I planned to rest my head and to have time just for myself durng the first three weeks of the holidays before I get myself back with my thesis thingys. Although most of the quizzes are plain noncense, but I am taking it as an interesting yet cheap escapism to help me lay back a little bit. That is all about it. It cannot be more serious than that. Done deal.

Paul Jambunathan said to the media that Facebook members deprived themselves of 'real socialising and networking' with others by spending hours in front of the computers. I know I must not dispute this statement, but I bet it is almost unfair to simply generalize it in that way for millons of Facebookers global wide. Me and my friends are not caught in such a condition. Although we do not see each other regularly, but we always make sure that we will pilfer some exclusive moments to be shared together.

Me myself see the noble role of Facebook to better connect my friends and me. By connecting ourselves via Facebook, we can always ensure that we are always in close touch with one another, despite other commitments that require strong devotion in this life. Facebook can pull us together, closer.

I don't see any undesirable outcomes due to Facebooking if everyone knows how to handle this network well enough. To me, Facebook is just another means to socialize ourselves. And it is capable of doing so.

Facebook is the fastest growing and effective means of communication. Now that we have deciphered its capability(I am still referring to the quizzes on Facebook), I guess it can be well manipulated by the ruling leaders to better connect themselves with the people out there. In simpler words, the government can utilise this very function to getting the responses from the public, thus promote better practice of democracy in this country.

Most of Malaysians are doing well with this feature. Most of us are good at taking the quizzes. I see the possibility for the government in bringing the people to actively participate throughout the electoral system through these quizzes. What should be the five to ten questions then? Well, we have more than five to ten issues pertaining to the needs of the people. Figuring the right issues is central to this move. Perhaps this move tally with Prime Minister's quest to achieve the key performance index (KPI) which denotes the idea that 'satisfaction fo the rakyat is benchark of success'.

Point taken.

Understand 'Our Language', anyone?

2009-05-03T21:31:00.000-07:00

A few days back, when I was flipping the newspaper, I came across one article which was well articulated by one of Malaysian renowned writers. The piece appeared in the op-ed column.

Before I go any further, I really feel the need to compliment the writer for articulating compelling thoughts, for being bold and in short, for being the voice for the youths. To me, it isot easy to get such ideas printed in the mainstream paper. But this time around, I believed that the paper has challenged its traditional policy and I musy say, BRAVO!

During the general election last year, Barisan Nasional (BN) was devastated due to the results- they lost five states to the opposition parties, Pakatan Rakyat (comprises of PAS, DAP and PKR). Although it went way out of what was expected by the ruling leaders at that time, but this is what we call as democracy. The people has that very power and right in the electoral system.

When we talk about the people who are largely the voters, we are not merely pointing to the middle age and the older ones. Indeed, the young voters should be in the central of concern as they are the rising generation who will replace the elders. Wecare the buzzword. So count us in.

It is important for BN and especially UMNO to realize that the youths are heavy media users. Unlike those in their middle age and the older voters, they largely depend merely on the mainstream media (newspapers, TV and radio), the youths are very fond of the new media and it is undoubtedly true that the Internet has been playing its pervasive role in changing the atitude, mind-set and moulding their beliefs.

With the existence of new media, the media users, especially those who are technology-savvies are no longer mere media users, but they have been categorized as the active media users instead. Active media users get all kinds of information they ever needed through the heterogeneous means of comunication. The new media has made information availability ubiquitous and know-no-boundaries.

And it is pivotal to note that active media users will not blatantly accept news and information fed by the mainstream media as they are all alerted with the role of agenda-setting in the news organizations, regardless of how much the traditional media prove themselves to be objective and fair. Being the 'neutral party' is still way out of the picture as the people knew for sure that almost all newspapers in the country belong to specific political parties whereas they should be 'free from any influences'.

As the active media users, the youths have more than the mainstream media as their information providers. Indeed, provided the political contidion in the country, they have tremendously switched from the mainstream media to the alternative media. But, it does not mean that the mainstream media has been abandoned by the youths. It is just that they demand for more transparency throughout the political practices and the media activities alike.

It is inevitably true that the new media, especially the Internet has filled that 'empty hole'. The quest for freedom of information is on the march. While freedom can bring about undesirable outcomes that would likely to threatened the political stability and uniformity of the people, freedom is also a remedy to anticipating the efforts to avoid disputes in the society.

It is important to understand the difference between 'absolute freedom' and the notion of being a little bit more lenient by putting forth the freedom. The people are not demanding for the former as they can totally understand the consequences, but transparency is the buzzword here. Freedom of information is much needed to pacify the situation we have in our hands now.

Some hidebound people tend to point their fingers blaming the media for being the causal factor. They wrongly analyzed that the ruling government is giving too much leeway for the media practitioners to make their own decisions using their autonomy. But honestly I personally see and can still feel that our media are lacking in freedom to impart information, let alone the issue on autonomous power. What we have here is very much a guarded and guided media.

The new lineup should be abe to recognize the pivotal role of new media and its pervasive influence in reaching the youths out there. They cannot depend solely o the mainstream media because hefty reseaches have proven that the youths are the information technoloy geneation. BN should utilise the wide wings of new media in bringing their vision and mission closer to the people. The alternative media is gaining its momentum tremendously. Some observers believed that the alternative media is the new mainstream media.

Gossips Can Hardly Be Good.

2009-04-25T18:37:00.000-07:00

The media, especially the alternative ones have good justifications on how gossips (some call it as rumours) can bring about good fortune to the celebrities. The question now is, do they honestly care about ensuring good fortunes for the celebrities?

As to my very opinion, I see that the reason can be nothing else than generating big MONEY for their organizations. For their survival within this very stiff market.

'Sensationalization' is a lucrative buzzword here.

It is undoubtedly true that gossips are effective in bringing the celebrities' names into the spotlight, thus will be in the central of entertainment media industry. They will be the interests of all followers of the entertainment world. They want to be the buzzword- as long as possible and as much as they can stay right there.

But what kind of influence are they getting out of this? Far from the good ones, obviously.

Gossips are normally associated with negative effects. Still, many celebrities failed in looking for better options to bring their names in the positive lights, thus become a desirable brand for all entetainment industry's freaks. I have heard of one classic example which I considered as way too pathetic.

One of my friends used to befriend with this one female singer. In those years, it was hard for her to penetrate the local market, let alone the idea of going into markets of Indonesia, the Philipines or Singapore. I am not talking about the wrong strategies she engaged with which have led to the failure. But the most interesting part is, she actually 'paid' for her gossip to be written in one entertainment magazine!

She called my friend to asked for his little favor to have a photo session with one of the reporters from the magazine. She requested the reporter to create a 'scandalous' story between her and my friend. She fed the reporter with a good story, of course! Most of me and my friends from Kajang have all read this story.

I guess the singer has successfully achieved the very purposeof her doing this. All she wanted is to bring her name back in the lists of topics that would interests the fans out there. Before I forget, my friend received RM500 as a 'token of appreciation' from that singer. Free money and free advertisement for my friend. Bravo, boy!

I bet that at least for once, most local entertainment fans were pretty much into this gossip, that is why I say that the singer has finally achieved her purpose and tha RM500 was a wise investment for her. But then again, what kind of influence does she get out of her not-so-big investment? Definitely not-a-so-positive one and if it were to be badly fabricated by the media, she might need to pay for 'bigger investment' in the future.

Last night I wathced the seventh concert of Akademi Fantasia. I stayed up until 11pm for Hafiz (Afundi Hafiz oke!) although my body was aching all over due to the watery escapade I had during the day.

Well, my focus here is about the dismissal of Aril (or Aeril or whatever), one out of the talented students in AF7. I am not so fond of Aril, but still I have to admit that he has the talent and he himself is already a good package to add more colours to the existing industry. He has been very stage-friendly, warmth with the audiences plus his good voice. Since week one, he received strong applause from the crowd and has been one of the top ranked students of this season.

Based on my observation and analysis, the turnover took place during the fifth week when they were given tasks to present duet songs with the previous AF students and Aril got Marsha as her partner that week. Aril is a naturally jovial and extrovert person, I guess. It shows that he is not a hypocrite person.

When he got Marsha as her partner that week, he was all happy and tended to have some light naughty thoughts about partnering with that girl who has a sexy lips and bold eyes. Well after all, he is just being a man. Not much of his faults, actually.

But then again, the fans or I must say the voters, took it differently. Marsha's presence on stage was considered as ok but te more they two go with one another with Marsha's presence at the the akademi which was broadcasted on the daily diaries have somehow caused disputes amongst Aril's fans whose largely comprise of women. This is why I said that gossip can hardly be good for the celebrities.

Although I've always like Hafiz's personality, his neutrality, his politeness and on top of that his big TALENT, I must still admit that Aril deserve to stay in there, compete to the final stage with the other excellent students like Isma, Hafiz and Claudia. Its going to be whole lot better if Rubisa and Zizi are still in.

After Ages...~

2009-03-14T19:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the much awaited day for me.

The very reason is, I was all-ebullient to meet my old friends from Kajang High School. We have been apart since we left KHS back in 2003. But that does not mean we were totally out of touch with one another. We normally have the annual meeting (at least once a year) which will re-unite us back after months of silence.

To be honest, I am very blessed to have a bunch of friends from both Convent Kajang and KHS who embrace the notion of solidarity. We will always try to make ourselves available for our gatherings, although at times some of us can only spend a mere hour for the gatherings. Well, we do respect the big commitments each of us have. So, as long as the willingness is obvious, that would be very much appreciated by us all.

Albeit the bond that has tied us into this solidarity, I must still admit that I also had the chance to came across several individuals whom I expected to add the numbers of my 'friends for life', but apparently, my expectation turned to be a false one. Although up until now me and my friends do not understand why those persons are acting that way, but deep down I know they do have reasons.

Well well, it is the individual autonomy to make choices of their own, so no biggie. However, I do not understand how they can relace the bond of solidarity which has been built for almost half of our age with some other stupid reasons, instead of finding the right way to iron things out. Ok, it is personal choice. Whatever.

But again, I am all blessed to have a bunch of lovely friends who really care about the value of this friendship and still embracing it.

So last night is another gathering for me and m KHS friends. For those who are not from Kajang, KHS is a boys school, but they do accept female students for Form Six. After completing SPM, most of my Convent friends went to Matriculations and colleges. As for me, I went straight to Form Six for two bold years. Well at first I thought that I will very much be a lone-ranger in that new school, but again, time has proven that I was more than totally wrong.

In KHS, I made lots and lots of new friends. Lots of good friends, indeed. It was a beutiful evening to be spent with them. Most of them are attached here and there, which is a good news to me.

And there seems to be one obvious trend amongst the boys, the Myvi trend is in now. That shows how the model has penetrated the market, espcially those in their 20's. Coolness!

I will always pray for my friends big successes in their life, regardless whee they are and what they do.

I am also hoping to hit the same chance again and again in the future to spend more time with my friends!

My Thursday's Thought

2009-03-12T19:16:00.000-07:00

Right after I posted the previous blog entry, I dressed up and drove my way to one of KL's heaven, Kinokuniya!

I was looking for new books for my thesis writing and besides that, I endeavored for a book that discusses about the international relation between the rich nations and the the poor ones. The latter was not my priority, but alhamdulillah, I found two books for both endeavors.

I got myself the Mediamorphosis (written by my lecturers) and The White Man's Burden which was well written by William Easterly.

Well, I have been dearly wishing to buy the Mediamorphosis to support the justifications I wrote in my thesis. In the first place, I had this very naughty intention. I wanted to ask for a free copy from my lecturer. Or at least, she do not mind to lend me one. But when I come to think of it, I know, it is better for me to make the investment for my own benefit.

So I did.

On the other day, one of my lecturers assigned the with one interesting assignment which denoted a brilliant thought. We were asked to study the function of the media in giving international coverage for the underdeveloped countries. In simpler words, it is very much to finding one country which has been badly devastated due to the media occupations.

Well, my intention here is not to discuss about that particular country which me and my colleagues studied for that task. But, throughout the study we made, I finaly realised that the West, through their heterogeneous media channels, have played their part under the ticket promote the rights of the people.

But as it obviously is, the West efforts to aid the sufferers have done so much ill and so little good. These were all made possible through the power of the international media. Without they world realizing it, their occupations have dumped the people into a worst deprivation of human rights.

So, what is up with 'the white man's burden?'. The media plays a pivotal in this situation. The media can either make it or break it. The results show their blistering indictment in aiding the poor nations. Well, that is basically how I see the condition. It is undoubtedly precarious and daunting.

I am hoping that the new book explain to me better. I read the first chapter before purchasing it. And the articulations sound tremendously provocative, thus I jatuh cinta with it!

It is always interesting to study the mass media effects on societies worldwide. Different societies see the roles and functions of the media differently. And if we were to study the international media coverages on our dear Malaysia, we should not be suprise to see how they have moulded the world's perceptions towards the country.

It is scary to accept the fact. So there go the needs of our very own media practitioners in providing good portrayal about the country to naturalized the negativities out there.

Let's take the challenge, y'all and be more responsible.

Blogging in Big Smile

2009-03-11T19:31:00.000-07:00

It has been a month since my last post. I've been dearly waiting for this chance to come again. Finally finally.

By now, it is already half of this semester. Alhamdulillah.

Although the journey was not that easy, but generally, I am blessed with the strength given by Allah SWT that has helped me to pull through the situations. Nothing can comes easily without hard work, determination and perseverance. Finally, tawakkaltu lillahi ta'ala.

My heart has been crying really hard to blog. But again, the crazy schedule and deadlines have disabled me from doing so. I had hard times redefining the priority when it comes to this. Ceh!

I am so not sure what should I say and where should I start now. Well, these fingers will be typing as intructed by the mind. So, I bet I need not to worry. Hee!

What's up with my third semester?

Well well. This semester is one of the toughest ones so far. But, there is a big YET. Yet, it is beutiful. Apart from the fact that I am surrounded by lovely kakaks (the classmates), the three courses I am taking this semester denote beutiful challenges that make me a better person who can better appreciate the meaning of life. It sounds weird, I know. But that is the significant impact of this semester to me. And the fact is, I am so LOVING IT!

At first, I personally thought that the Telecommunication Media Management course is so going to be a dull one. In fact, I had this very skeptical perception towards the Media Laws and Regulations even before the curtains were raised. Apparently, things turned the other way round and proved that I was totally wrong. I am all happy for that fact.

I keep telling myself that the root answer is always in me. I have the autonomy in deciding what is good and what is not for myself. Therefore, I know that I should not point finger to someone or something else if things failed to turn in the desirable way. It's basically my own decision. I must be responsible for my own life.

I have anticipated that my third semester schedule is going to be crazy. Well, IT IS. The third semester is the time when I have to juggle between several commitments (the three courses + Thesis + endeavor of my destiny!). The time has finally come to me and currently, I am squeezing myself into those three commitments which demand full commitment and patience. I believe that I am where I am because of the latter.

However, several remedies have soothed me well. I had my second appointment last week and the doctor explained that both of my toes are doing well. The new nails are growing and that is what I have been praying for. Additionally, two days ago, I went to collect my prize which I mentioned in the previous post. I am blessed with all this! Alhamdulillah.

::In Real Big Smile::

2009-02-12T17:42:00.000-08:00

I want to welcome myself back to the addiction of writing my things!
Thee hee hee..~

I had to keep myself so intimate with the proposal writing in order for me to move to the second level of my research study within this semester. That commitment gave me no option rather than I had to adjourned myself from any other ecstasies- blogging and Facebooking are two of those ecstasies!

Before she left the school for her six-months medical leave, my mentor explained to me that I mustn't be way too restless about the thesis as the Graduate School and faculty are expecting us to go for the prelimenary stage for this semester. And in our final semester, which is just next semester, we are then expected to really concentrate on completing the research studies.

But knowing my own colours...

I knew that I have to swallow all of the restless-ness in order for me to accomplish my thesis in time.

I am a slow learner. I am not born brilliant, so I always remind myself to double up each and every of my efforts to be better and to seize what I wish in my life.

It can take the rest of my life to accomplish a single commitment if I were to take my very own sweet time. I started writing my research proposal two weeks before the third semester kicked-off, and I took almost a solid month to complete writing it. I submitted my proposal on last Monday.

Two days ago, I had another appointment with my Supervisor.

Alhamdulillah, she has fully approved my proposal. "You shall enter the second stage now, Intan", she adviced me so. But still, she reminds me to add more information for the Literature Review section that will only be included in the final report which is to be submitted next semester.

I am blessed to be under my Supervisor's supervision. Apart from the fact that she's an adept in Citizen Journalism studies, she's jovial, enthusiastic and supportive at one same time. Working with her is all about working hard, play hard and lough out loud. Throughout our forty minutes discussion on the previous apointment, she adviced me to put balance hours for my studies and thesis that will help me to stay focus and motivated. InsyaAllah, will do so, Professor!

Next week, I'll put my hands on designing the interview protocol for my future in-depth interviews with my respondents. And I am praying hard to be able to do so in two weeks time. I am planning to start doing the interviews during my two-months semester break which will starts in April. As for now till the end of this third semester, I've to focus more on my assignments, projects, tests and final exams. Deadlines are approaching me badly.

But now, I am so focusing myself for the two-days excursion (should I call it as an excursion or trip?) with a bunch of my lovely kakaks to Umbai and Port Dickson. Sea foods, jet-ski, banana boat, kayak and loads of photos are what we looking for. Hihi! Well, since a few of my classmates are going to tie the knots somewhen this year and early next year, so I consider this as the 'Bachelors' Days Out!' :)

And just a matter of sharing...~

Yesterday a person from Speedy Video called to inform me that I've won the Grand Prize of the Sex and the City's contest and will bring home RM1,000 worth of frangrances, body lotion, cream bath, etc. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulllah. I always believe that Allah SWT will answer His capliphs' prayers. InsyaAllah, COVET, my all time favourite frangrance is on my way for free. I've been desiring to have one of it, but COVET is pretty expensive for a student's budget like me ;)

Till my fingers meet the keyboard again..!~

::SNAKE MASSAGES, anyone..?::

2009-02-07T17:19:00.000-08:00

This is much safer and better than the slithery one

While I was waiting for my turn to see the doctor on last Friday, I knew I am so supposed to bring reading materials to be my companion.

True enough, I reached the hospital sharp at 9am. I was an hour late then my scheduled appointment. The bumper-to-bumper crawl sucks oke. But anyway, I waited for almost one and a half hour before they called me in.

They don't allow people to use laptops in the hospital. I don't have a handphone-cum-media player. My Nano is dead a very long time ago. So obviously, I can only read too kill the time. I brought the latest copy of Reader's Digest and my one of my thesis references to help me stay alive.

Kids were crying everywhere. Adults chatted in almost their loudest voices. Nurses were screaming to call-in their patients. Demmit. It was way too hard for me to focused my mind reading my thesis references and I finally decided to read R.D.

R.D has never put me off. The way they do their writings are simple. Public-interest is all that they offer in their copies. Not-so-serious way of conducting journalism that makes their content cut for all regardless of anything. A perfect escapism for to save me from the chaotic immediate surrounding.

Of course, the interview they had with Obama is the precious middle-page content. But what attracts me best is the 'Right Here, Right Now' section which introduces the Snake Massages.

The photo depicted a man handling four snakes of different colors (but all look poisonous!) on another man's body. Hwa hwa hwa....~ Geli-geleman ako.

Oke oke.

Let's get straight to the story. A health and beuty spa located in northern Israel offers a service designed to make their customers' tensions slither away as the snakes slither on their bodies in a very slithery way. But of course a pro will handle those creatures but that ensures me no safety anyway. Snakes are always snakes, right?

So, the treatment consists of non-venomous snakes (ya righttt laa!) wriggling and hissing accros the client's aching muscles and joints. Such a treatment cost 300 shakels (+-$78). And one of the therapists explained that many people find the snakes have a soothing effect. That makes me ponder..How in the world could that be?

Mind to give that a try, peeps?

Hah!

:))

:Living Like an OKU:

2009-01-30T23:13:00.000-08:00

The Shape of My Friendship! This is one thing that keeps me going.

I guess the toes have taken too much of my attention.

As much as I have sacrificed my blogging hours for attending the toes.

But, the attention I devoted to the toes weren't futile at all. I went for a dressing session just now in the morning.

"The wounds look beutiful, Intan", the doctor said in big smile while undressing the bandages which have been there for the past nine days.

"How can those toes without nails be beutiful, doc?", I asked in ignorance. "Your wounds have healed. Quite fast than what I've expected for your particular condition", he replied in his very polite voice. And the doctor is a quite-good-looking man, though ;)

Alhamdulillah.

Allah SWT has answered my prays all these while. I really need the wounds to recuperate fast. I really need to get rid of those bandages that enfold my toes very tightly. The condition is never comfortable for me.

But, enduring this condition is way better than standing the pains caused by the in-growing toe nails. The nails were like 'growing thorns ' in my flesh!

Three days ago, finally I got myself behind the wheel. Ahh, since the surgery, I've been in dire need to be able to drive again. I hate the idea that I always need assistants to bring me to places I want to go.

Once in the driver's seat, one of the doctor's funny statements triggeed in my head. "If you're going anywhere, you're now eligible to park at the OKU's parking bays. Even if you're not the driver. As long as you're in the car, so everyone can enjoy the benefit!". Heh.

Living life this way gives me sobering thoughts of this life. Out of Allah SWT's perfect creation, I've taken my life for granted in certain ways though. I finally realized that I've overuse the cliche so much, 'Nothing's Perfect'. But the fact is, humans can always be 'perfectable' out of the cliche's notion. As a human, I am the one who make all pieces of decisions in my life.

The bandages are still on my toes.

I've to admit that it's pretty difficult to move, to work, to put on the flip-flops and the hardest part is during my bathing times. I've to keep the wounds dry from any kinds of wetness. So, you go and imagine the condition I'm explaining now.

Ibu always advices me not to use my foots too much. The doctor advices so. The muscles need to rest. But I know I cannot just send commands for people to get my things done. I kept telling myself that I can move. I can drive. The process to putting on those flip flops would be easier after few times practices and I can bath like normal. In simpler words, I can work my-things-by-myself and should not take advantage over others' willingness that could over pampered me. Done deal.

Each time I found it hard to work in this condition, I remind myself that this temporary weakness is never a biggie. There are thousands of people with the same or in tougher conditions out there, yet they survived really well and even seized significant victories in their lives. They are real high achievers in ths world.

So, why shouldn't I?

::A Call for All Agents of Changes::

2009-01-25T18:15:00.000-08:00

While I was driving to campus last week, I listened to one preview of an interview on HOT.FM with one of Malaysia's renowned broadcast journalist (BJ) who has been doing tough tasks in media entertainment industry.

If I were to mention the name, everyone will undoubtedly has something to say, to comment or even to critic.

So, I choose not to state the name or where this particular person is attached to because his 'status' is nothing interesting to me.

But, one of his statements has strongly gave me a reason to share my say.

Something that is 'completely interesting".

In response to a question asked by one anonymous caller, he firmly replied in one simple yet thoughtful answer, "The journalists aren't human. Journalists are journalists".

Although I decided not to work with the media, but I have all reasons in this world to appreciate the media industry, especially the restless efforts taken by the newspeople to provide the best scoop to their dear audiences. They took all pains to feed the hungry-for-information audiences out there. Journalists carry the toughest commitment to the public. It's a fact that shouldn't be doubted. The heterogenous public rely on what the media got to say.

To the laymen, media practitioners, especially the journalists are their watchdogs.

Such a position has given these people what I deciphered as 'added responsibility over any other responsibilities'.

There's an interesting saying that articulate about the role of journalists- "The journalists can either make it or break it!". It's undoubtedly true that 'mata pena lebih tajam daripada mata pedang'.

But that should not make them, the journalists (reporters or most profoundly Americans called them as the press) less than human. On whatever situation, journalists are still humans who carry a very high standard of responsibility to the public. At the same time, they have to operate accordingly to the pillars of journalism.

Go and ask the journalists.

"What is one of your biggest conflicts in performing the job?"

And no journalist would say no to "Public interest versus right to privacy" as the answer.

This is because, in most conflicting situations, it's really hard for the journalists to decide the point of the 'golden mean' when the two interests compete in one picture. In order to reveal the truth, sometimes they got to break the right to privacy. And if they choose the latter, they have to fail their utmost responsibility, that is to serve the public interest.

At times, even the pillars of journalism cannot provide means to save such a situation.

Desperately, they may use what Machiavelli offers to the industry- 'The ends justify the means'. When they were questioned on their less ethical decision(s), some of them would simply quote Machiaveli's words and arrogantly hide behind the profound responsibility, that's to meet the public interest. To say the truth, nothing but the truth.

But I am a strong believer that the moral conviction will always offer an ideal way to say the hardest truth. Even the sensational stories can be written responsibly. By putting it this way, the press need not sacrifice anything yet saved the situation at stake. Mills called this as the 'conscience of the agents'.

Journalists are always human. They operate under the name of humanity, at all times in whatever situation.

It's a noble job.

Always.

::Title-less...::

2009-01-23T19:43:00.000-08:00

Boo hoo!

"We have to chop-off the nails, my dear", said the doctor.

"Chhhhop-off??!", I was petriefied. Like totally.

All parts of my body went frozen in time. It stayed that way until the 30 minutes surgery was over.

Alhamdulillah, evertyhing went so well in the operation theatre. Except when the anesthetist was injecting in my toes the liquids they called as 'local anesthetic'- that has caused me great pain. But I kept telling myself, this is just the temporary pain. It's whole lots better than standing the pain caused by the in-growing toe nails.

Local anesthetic means that the anesthetic is merely concentrated on the part(s) which need to be amputated or removed. Other than that, the patient is concious throughout the whole process. But, this type of pain-killer only applies in minor surgeries.

'In-growing toe nails'.

Yes.

That's the reason why my right and left toes are now 'nail-less'. Not until the new nails grow. And that could take another few weeks (or a month) before the nails are finally tangible. Heh.

I always have such odd problems. I dealt with in-groing toe nail for the first time in 2001. I got half of my right toe nail removed a week after SPM examninations. My wisdom tooths were over than the size of my gum. All four have been removed in two-hours-minor-sugery back in 2007. The following year, after a family vacation in East Java, I brought to home a virus called 'typhod' (the spelling may be incorrect, but that's how it sounds). The deadly virus, which found only in the third world countries was a threat to local health and I was put in quarantine for a week after I went for a surgery to remove my appendix and the infections in my intestine. The doctors from MOF finally let me go after they were damn sure that the typhod is no longer in my blood. Boo hoo.

And yesterday has marked another experience in my life.

These experiences gave me good lessons and remind me to better appreciate this life and all opportunities Allah SWT gives to me. I know I must live this life to the fullest, be a better caliph of Allah SWT, a better daughter, a sister to all brothers and sisters and a friend for a bunch of my lovely friends.

Ajal, jodoh and rezqi all remain as Allah SWT's secrets. But, we as His caliphs, must appreciate the chances given by Him to make everyhing better for ourselves, our parents, our brothers and sisters, friends, for the earth and for Islam. InsyaAllah.

P/s: I am all excited waiting for the new nails!! Thee he! (>.<)

::My Brand-New Work Stations!::

2009-01-20T20:10:00.000-08:00

The tidi-est that I can make

The new "buah hatis"

My used-to-be-downstairs-things are now in my room!

My work areas used to be on two different floors.

But thanks to the wireless connection, now both of my very-favorite-spots are upstairs, in my room.

The study table has never been elsewhere than in my very untidy room (but I've been trying all my best to make this room looks better than it was and I considered those hardships as successful!). Whereas, laptops and printer were downstairs, somewhere really close to the telephone cable.

To better justify why I need these both areas to be placed immediate with one another, I felt really crazy to bring my dictionaries, note books, diary and stationeries downstairs when I needed to use the internet. And when I got to start writing things, I will then had to bring those stuffs uptairs. At times, double trips weren't enough to import the stuffs from different floors.

That sounds crazy, init? I agree wholeheartedly.

And I did dat for the past 2 years without fail although somethimes I felt that I need something like a 'universal remote' that could help me in transfering stuffs from upstairs to downstairs and vice-versa.

But until the 'death' of my previous modem on last Friday, I have never had the very-definite-reason to move my electronic devices upstairs. I wasn't so sure what caused so but one thing for sure, the 'penyakit Malas' has been one of the discouraging factors ;)

I was in a very deep disappointment realizing that my modem isn't working as it should and the fact is, I really in dire need of the internet connection as I had to print out this semester's tuition bill from the portal.

Although the deadline is still almost a month away, but I always hate to tolerate with situation when things I really want to do is halt by intolerable reasons.I was hoping that I could settle down my bill thingys on that Friday and start counting for the course validation when the day has come.

The 'death' of my modem failed me on that particular plan.

That very point is when I decided to use wireless connection in my home- a decision that I should have made long-long time ago. Heh.

But I always believe in one saying- 'It's better late than never'. A saying Ayah definitely hate ;) Ayah believes that the saying means nothing more than just to cover-up my own mistakes for forgeting or taking thigs for granted in this life.

So, on the other day, when I was seeking his pemission to upgrade my internet connection, apparently he asked, "Kenapa baru sekarang...Patutnya dari dulu lagi". Of course my answer was something else than "It's better late than never, Ayah" :)

And today, me and Ayah worked in hands to move my 'downstairs stuffs' into my room.

I must say that I really love my room's new look!

::The World's Worst-Accursed Attack::

2009-01-14T21:20:00.000-08:00

The world cannot take this anymore!

Since the first bombardment that attacked the Gaza City a few weeks ago, the media have never failed to continuously update its receivers about the bloody event.

The world have seen abundance of pictures, videos and news stories provided by the restless newsmen.

An event the world definitely hates to see.

Yet, the Israel thoroughly ignores the denunciation addressed to them. Indeed, they arrogantly believed that they are doing this under the world-peace ticket.

Amidst all peace-calls voiced by many countries worldwide to pacify the situation in Hamas, Israeli Defense Minister, Ehud Barak has declared 'all-out war against Hamas'. According to the reports by The Huffington Post Online, Israel's stated goal is to cripple Hamas' ability to launch rockets at Israeli towns.

The cold-blooded Israelis announced their stand that ground invasion is needed to stop Hamas' plans and made it clear that airstrikes alne cannot finish the job. In the same article, I've came across one heart-wrenching statement by the Israeli- those heartless hombres believed that 'the war is what Hamas wants, thus they deserve it'.

The evils have got all reasons in this world to resume their inhumane occupation.

Until today, the death toll has passes 1,000 innocent lives. And most of the victims are kids, women and older people who were plain weak and helpless. I always believe that only the heartless-asses would have the heart to attack those helpless civilians.

The Israel-Arab conflicts have evoke global outrage like no other crises. But it seems like the world has got no effective means to put the ceasefire in place. I flipped several stories appeared in today's Utusan Malaysia and out of those 'helpless stories', I found one good piece- PBB finally calls for an urgent assembly to put relevant forces on Israel to halt their attacks in Hamas.

Although such an assembly should have been done earlier (so that the death toll could be less than what we got now), but at least, it's not a little too late for such a noble call. People all over the globe are in joining hands to make the Israel open their eyes of how much the world is hating them. Even worst, this hatred could possibly be a permanent resentment towards the Israelis.

Hopefully, what we are doing now could save the land from being a complete 'ground zero'. Ameen.

::I Definitely LOVE My SaturDAY!::

2009-01-10T07:55:00.000-08:00

At the point when I almost rest the case, I finally hit the right heaven.

I had put hope to find books that I need for my dear references in writing my thesis. So I tried both MPH and the BORDERS previously.

But those bookstores do not offer many books relevance to media studies. I'm MPH cardholder and I'm loving the ambience the BORDERS offers, yet, I successfully found book I needed the most at KINOKUNIYA.

I found one of the text books that I'll be using for Telecommunication Media Management (COM507)- that adds another smile on my face today. So hopefully, I won't be rambling dismayingly anymore. Heh.

MPH used to have a few shelfs which accommodated good books on media studies. But out of no reason, the management has finally removed those shelfs to give rooms for books on sports. No offense, but why is that in the world should they remove the MEDIA's shelfs just for that reason?

If I were in the management unit, I would rather reduce the area for stationeries and accommodate more shelfs for books and by doing so, I don't think they need to sacrifice those shelfs for media books. Duh. The BORDERS scores a little better compared to MPH. They still keep their shelfs for books on media studies, although most of the books they have in store aren't really useful to help readers understand media as a whole. But at least, they still have that 'MEDIA' label (even just a small one compared to anything else they got in the store).

Earlier this morning, my instinct urged me to give KINOKUNIYA a try. At the point of trying my luck, I was just doing it for the sake of trying. To my great surprise, KINOKUNIYA gives good signs that the shop stores heterogeneous titles pertaining to media studies.

And on top of that, there is where I found my very very dear WE THE MEDIA: Grassroot Journalism, Journalism by the People, for the People. I've been hunting for this book like all my entire life. This is the perfect book to give me almost everything that I need to learn about Citizen Journalism- the area of my thesis. Written by the Father of Citizen Journalism, Dan Gilmor, it's one of my worthwhile investments in this life!

The dismal I had in me finally disappeared.

All that left in me is the reason to heartily appreciate those books I got today and make full use of both.

In the course of searching for both books, I came across various books that are pretty relevance to both of my thesis and interest. But, I can't afford to buy all books in one shot. Or else, it's going to cost me more than RM1k today. Ho.

I know I have to do that phase by phase. So, I'm going to start treasuring the first two books before I can get the additional ones in the near future. That's a real excitement!

I had beutiful moments dislodging the books from it shelfs in the store. Standing next to me was a guy who was in the same shoes like me. He was hunting for books as well (and quite cute though. Hah). Media books to be exact. Both of us got a list in grip. He explained that he needs books for better references. He's doing his PhD now. I went like wow! So, we did the dislodging together.

And after Maghrib, I went out for coffee with my besties- Alys, Tiqah and Farha. While we were purchasing the drinks, that's when we realized that we should halt supports on anything that relates with the America and Israel. Hah. Apa nak kata. Duit pong da bayaq waktu tu.

(but those books I loved to death came from the America. Peh.)

Out of the wrong place we were, the four of us had a lovely gabfest over latte, donut and sandwich. It has been ages since the last time we spent our time for a date like this (we always call this exquisite moments as date). I'm totally blessed to have friends like these beutiful and generous girls.

On top of that, I'm so happy knowing good news from Alys and Farha! No matter whatever awaits us in the future, we knew that this solidarity is forever! Ameen.

LOVE is in the air!

::CELEBS' WEDDING: Celebration or Competition?::

2009-01-08T05:05:00.000-08:00

"Beuty in Simplicity is Priceless"

Over what we've seen in the media portrayal of celebrities wedding, I bet it is not too much if I say that they are not merely competing within the stiff industry, but somehow, their status have also put force on them to make everything looks big. Really BIG, indeed.

The BIGger, the MERRIER. But that's the price they need to pay for being public figures and the people, be them fans or foes, are always standin on their toes to get the latest stories.

The simultaneous advancement of communication technology has allowed both fans and foes to continuously get all sorts of stories, pictures and videos they desired for. Being one of those who demands for the latest development of events that took place on this planet earth, I thanked the technology very much. Heh.

Paparazzis are working twenty-four-seven to get the best scoop, thus serve to the fulfill the high market demand which call for sensational stories and personalized pictures of the personages! That's public interest.

And it's undoubtedly true that public interest stories will definitely sell and it's all time lucrative. Thus, media practitiones (this time I'm referring to those who involved with entertainment industry) will take all risks for the sake of sales. But, never put blame on them as they are just doing their part to cater the public's interest.

This topic might be totally subjective. Oh well, different persons might poses the very distinct perceptions about things that occur in our daily course of learning the implied meaning of this life. Maybe some people just couldn't be bothered to get the latest news of the celebrities. But in the other hand, there are great demand for stories to break thier thirst of sensational items. The differences we have add colors to this life anyway!

We do the choice without any forces.

Now, let's get back to the main issue.

These few weeks, I've came across many opinions from the public about celebrities wedding. And for sure, I deciphered that Mawi-Ekin's much-awaited wedding has been the favourite example. Again, I'm stressing here that people have different reasons counting for this so-called wedding of the year (at least until someone else beats these Johorians record).

But one thing is for sure- the celebrities wedding are more than just plain wedding. It's not too much of exaggeration if I were to call their weddings as fiesta. And such fiestas have triggered too much says.

Out of so many opinions, I'm wholeheartedly agreed with one ulama' words. "Grand wedding is everyone's dream. But when we come to think of it, it's strongly adviceable for the couple not to waste so much for the wedding. A simple yet meaningful one will do still. Not everyone will praise the wedding. Even worst, if undesirable thing would happen to the marriage, it's hard to stop people from talking bad".

That's so true. Many people tend to talk about the bad things before good ones will finally show up. Indeed, the couple should put their upcoming journey after the big day as the utmost important. Beuty in simplicity is peculiar and will be much appreciated, I guess.

But, it's hard for those big names not to make their big day the biggest one. They knew that many ones want to know about their wedding. And afterall, if they didn't allow the coverage of their wedding, people would still curse. Articulating about this made me believed that it was hard for them to make one decision that would completely satisfied themselves, friends, fans and foes. People will still do bad talkings.

This is so life.

The price can gets really high and some people just can't afford to buy one.

So, here I'm wishing All the Best to all just-married couples and may the marriages last forever.

::My WednesDAY::

2009-01-07T08:57:00.000-08:00

The very first thing I did when I woke up today- I blamed

myself for failing to make it at 5am, although I've set two

alarms for that purpose.

Well recently, I realized that it has been pretty hard for me to wake up early in the morning (regardless how many alarms were set to help me do so). On the other day, I said this thing to one of my cousins and pointing finger at the fact that I've turned to be a lazy-sleepy bum. "Takla..I bet it's due to your restless life le Ntan", she replied me right back with all confidence the world has.

Thank you for making me feel better but anyway, 'fact bites', init..? Ngehaha.

After my solat Subuh, I did my must-morning-chores. I hate to waste my morning hours, because knowing myself my whole life, I can only function at the maximum level in the morning. So alhamdulillah, by 12pm, I managed to accomplished almost 80 percent of my today-to-do-list.

From that point onwards, good reasons came to me to make my day better than I thought it would be. Alhamdulillah again and again.

Then at around 1.30pm, Prof. Madya Roslena (my Supervisor for thesis) called me. She called me twice when I was doing my thingys in the toilet. Kehkehkeh! Looking at her missed calls freaked me out from top to toe. Oh well, I always have this unreasonable apprehension when I gotta deal with anything related to my studies and I can be completely petrified at times though. That's my uneraseable bad, I admit. But when things got in the right places again, the feeling will dissipate and I'll be back normal.

Without prior notice, my Supervisor suggested to see me in the evening, right after her class at 4.15pm. At that very point, I was better petrified but luckily, my mouth and mind were still working at the very minimal level(at least to answer her back). She didn't force me to come by today, but me myself has been waiting to hit the opportunity to meet her and discuss over my topic. So, I knew I must agree to meet her today. And I did.

I made it at her office sharp at 4.15pm. I feel totally blessed to be under her supervision. Amidst the fact that she masters the studies of my topic-in-interest, Cik Roslena (that's what she wants me to call her) seems to be a very sharing person and throughout the discussion, she loaded me up with abundance of mellow ideas and information pertaining to my topic. Almost evertyhing that relates to Citizen Journalism is at her very fingertips.

By meeting her, I finally had the chance to submit my proposal and yet, I'm expecting an overhaul on the proposal's content from her though. But at least, I've done something that helps me to see things in better clarity. Cik Roslena is an open-minded person (I hope she really is! *crossing fingers*) and the way she approaches me has made me not to dissimulate my real thoughts and intentions.

Class started quite late today and that could be the reason why the Dean delayed the wrap-up. But, the lessons we had were thoughful and useful from both Dean and Encik Mat today. So I guess, we didn't really mind ending up quite late (although the stomach sang too many hungry songs!).

We kinda put force for the Dean to wrap-up because we were in great dire of satay (like we've planned on the other day)! We gave good cooperation throughout the class for the sake of finishing it early so that we can resume our dear plan tonight. Haha. Baik anak-anak Semester 3 ni..=)

We reached Satay Hj. Samuri within 35 minutes time. Thirty chicken satay, ten beef satay, ten satay perut, ten mutton satay and four plates of ketupat and timun potong. Not to forget, plus one nasi goreng pattaya (my order), one nasi goreng kampung (Kak Yan's order), one bihun goreng (Kak Wa's order) and one nasik goreng ayam (Kak Sarah's order). I hope those orders show that we were starving to death. Kihkihkih!

On top of that, we had tonnes of undelicious celebs gossips over our delicious satay. But nothing could stop us from continually eat, eat and EAT! Hah. We don't like to waste. Amalan syaitan namanya..

We gossip like it was nobody else business and I loved that very much. It was good to see that everybody was enjoying the foods, gossips and happy moments altogether.

So, that what makes I love my today and hoping to get more of this again and again. Even better moments with friends. Now, I have reason to sleep tight tonight and hopefully to see me smiling again tomorrow.

InsyaAllah.

*crossing fingers!*

Ghee..!~

::TESCOism::

2009-01-03T23:05:00.000-08:00

The renowned hypermarkets- Giant, Carrefour, Billion & Bintang, the high-ends' supermarkets- Jaya Jusco, Cold Storage (not to mention names like Fajar, Ocean, etc which have gone down the scale), small-medium size groceries shops, those fishmongers, butchers and everyone who used to dominate the wet and dry market have been badly perturbed by the existence of TESCO.

TESCO, a name aboriginated from the America- has successfully penetrated the local market and it is consolidating its name by allocating outlets in the most populous towns all over Malaysia. TESCO has been more than just a hypermarket for the majority Malaysians. It's a phenomena that has struck the constituents and the phenomena I am referring here isn't a mere phantom, it's a pervasive one, indeed.

By now, I guess, TESCO's outlets are found available in so many conurbation in this country. In Kajang town itself, this hypermarket has been enjoying loyalty of the consituents from the immediate areas (my Ibu goes out for groceries shopping at TESCO in each two to three days in a week without fail. Can you imagine?). And I'm yet to mention about the identical huge response they received from constituents in other places.

So I guess, it's not too much if I were to say that TESCO is in it's colossal achievement. Don't you think so, dear?

Given a mother who has all reason in this world to stay loyal with TESCO, I always hate to do that two-to-three-days-a week-routine during weekends and in the end of the months. That's when TESCO became the amusement park! Kids are running all over the place and I had to queue for almost 40 minutes to get my vegetables tagged. Dem..~ I didn't have the option though, but to stand in patience.

Amidst the continuous denunciation of the people worldwide towards America's brutality in the middle east countries, coincidentally, we are are in joined hands to support their market like there's no other (but me myself have to admit that TESCO' prices are undoubtedly unbeatable by any other hypermarkets!).

TESCO has got so many things to offer its heterogeneous customers and other hypermarkets are dying to compete with it. It gives free membership for all, provides free vouchers for its customers over the purchases they made and recently, they announced their strong support towards protecting the environment by using less plastic bags. They encourage the customers to bring their used plastic bags from home and provide points for the bags they use to put in the stuffs (the implied idea is, TESCO is not merely protecting the earth, but they are saving their cost at one shot).

Kelantanese have witnessed the very peculiar experience with TESCO when the hypermarket has put its name in Jawi fonts- it's amazing when we come to think of how they really put their big effort to better penetrate the bigger market. By having its name in Jawi, they aren't merely creating a new history, but they also pacified the hatred of Muslims and Malays towards the conotation of American's brands and products. Good job, well done..~

I'm not writing this piece neither to praise TESCO (I'm not getting anything in return by doing so, anyway) nor to offend its existence (I don't have the power to beat this Marxist way though).

But, I always have the thought to be one of the biggest shareholders of TESCO. Ngehaha. Memang impossible. But, t's not harmful to save a dream!!

::The State of Numb::

2009-01-03T07:35:00.000-08:00

Some people firmly believed that it is plain dangerous to speak your mind when you're caught in an unstable condition because the articulations could kill.

But to my belief, words could turn sour feelings the other way round and thus, pacified the within almost instantly. I am clamouring for that pacifier effect. So that I can sleep tightly tonight. If this uneasiness remains in me, I'll be writing freaking crap entries till dawn.

At times, I realized that I got all reason in this world to live happily with my loved ones. But amidst those good things, the influence of defeatism beats my guts and simply took over my happiness. Life's fragile, isn't it? But the fact is, love life could cost everyone more than just that. When that undesirable time came to us, we then have the reason to live miserable.

That's mainly why I call the love as bittersweet. Learn to take the bitterness and adapt with the pains before we can finally relished the eternal sweetness. And in the course of learning this, some might lose grip and tend to rest the case.

But, I always remind myself and advice others not to simply jump on such a decision. But somehow, being humans,we aren't the clairvoyants. Only Allah SWT has that ultimate power. Therefore, we must learn to accept whatever that have been fated for us. Qada' & Qadar has always reminds us that the Almighty knows what are the best things for His servants.

All grown ups must have their very own plan(s) for their very own future. Regardless how successful the person has been or how sucks the life used to be previously, everyone needs a clearcut plan to skecth for a better life ahead. Life isn't a fairy-tale with all unexpected happiness to come into our ways with one prince charming holding yourhand in clasp.

That's why we need to anticipate in 'designing' our desired future and hopefully things will be just right in place for all of us. Let us do the sketchings and designings but never forget to tawakkal.

So, I am wishing myself all the best in my future endeavor. May Allah SWT bless me constantly and I really need lots of His blessings to make this life flow smoothly with less pain in the heart and torture to the mind.

Not to forget, I am wishing all readers all the best in your version of endeavors as well!

I guess I can sleep now.

;)

And I need to wake up early in the morning tomorrow. I'll be hunting for nasi lemak for my breakfast!

Wee--hoo..!~

::Treasuring the Second Day of 2009--From Downtown~Uptown::

2009-01-02T20:39:00.000-08:00

+ The borderless BORDERS that excites me!+

+'Plastic Sneakers'!+

Me and Ibu made made our way to the downtown to meet the cousin yesterday before both of us decided to do a little cookies' shopping at Ikea. I can never resist all of the Sweedish cookies the shop have got to offer and Ibu just can't get enough of Ikea's curry puffs. 'Half-a-dozen' is the ordinary order that will do good for her.

The decision to went uptown wasn't due to just those two plain factors because most importantly, I needed to find new reading materials for my thesis and perhaps the additional task assigned by Prof. Madya Adnan (we got the Dean to teach us this semester) has put me in strong encouragement to feast my eyes with new books. BORDERS has got all that to offer!

Since my very first visit to the Curve's outlet which I did like four months ago, I've so fallen in love with the bookstore. In this case, I must thank my classmates for sucessfully seducing me to experience the BORDERS. Exactly like what have been peddled by them, true enough, the BORDERS has got something in difference. And I am talking about the nuance it offers to the visitors.

I guess I was quite late to experience this good feeling about the new bookstore for the people in town. But being late is just whole lots better than never. Init...? :))

Like I always do, once I stepped into the bookstore, I'll definitely get myself to visit 'History' area. BORDERS offers almost six to seven shelfs to allocate books pertinent to histories- ranging from World History, Southeast Asia History, America History, South Africa History, Renaissance, etc. I found six splendid books but yet to get myself even one. I bet I've got to try Amazon.com's quotations before purchasing those that penetrated my heart.

All I got for my reading from the bookstore was book which provides an introductory ideas pertaining to the Malaysian Law & Legislation. That's gonna be my dear guardian, I hope!

After a solid two-hours visit to the BORDERS, it was already the time for me and Ibu to return home. But before we do that, we had a coffee break at one of the cafes facing the pedestrian crossing lane. And over chit-chat, I saw something I like that gave me a reason to still be proud of being a Malaysian.

It's one particular thing about Malaysian drivers when they were driving upon the yellow stripes in front of the Curve's main enrance- they give ways to the pedestrians. Sorry to say, but as a matter of being honest, this is completely something I rarely found elsewhere in KL and other places countrywide and everytime I used that particular road, I don't really feel like I was in Malaysia. Too bad but it's true though.

Next, Ibu realized that she needed to find a few groceries. So while she did her thingys, I made my way to the nearby Crocs. I have never thought of purchasing a pair of 'plastic sneakers', but some friends have strongly recommended me to try one since it's adviceable for me to wear shoes that are light and comfortable (the right toe is recuperating from an in-growing toe nail..Again! Dem!)

Unluckily for my foots (but lucky for my purse!), I failed to find one that could fit me well. The shop attendance explained to me that there's actually one problem with Crocs' shoes- some Malaysians cannot fit the shoes well. They might got the pairs either too tight or too loose and apparently I'm one of them...~

Crocs doesn't offer sizes like 7 1/2 (like many sport shoes do). So, my swollen toe cannot fit size 7 and 8 looks lousy anyway. Ngehaha!

Me and Ibu finally reached home within 30 minutes time after we left Ikea (I did a good job for being able to find the right way back to the parking bay. I used to lost in the middle of labyrinth of Ikea though). It wasn't like our previous visit when we had to struggle for almost 35 minutes just to find the right way back to the parking bay.

Right after Maghrib, I had a date with my High School boys and girls at Ayza. Meeting my friends is one of the bestest things in my life that I couldn't resist We gabfested on ties of issues ranging from good ones to freaking craps but still lovinit :))

So, that's how I treasured my second day of 2009!

It was a DAY for me and I want more like it.

::2009's Curtain Raiser!!::

2009-01-01T08:08:00.000-08:00

+Yang paling SETIA. Juga sebagai kekasih malam tahun baru+

+Ini dia ngedate malam tahun baru. Tlalu manis dan enak!+

So, I found it's oke just to be at home!

::WELCOMING 2009--The Resolutions::

2008-12-31T08:15:00.000-08:00

I am writing this right after the new year's countdown on TV3. Yes, I was watching ALLY-The Talkshow. But please, not because it featured Fasha Sandha. But because I do like Ally's personality and on top of that, I am celebrating my new year at home, with my very own self. Like every year...~

Alhamdulillah, we are now in 2009. The new year has just begun yet the clock never stops ticking. Thank you, Allah SWT for giving me the chance to experience the year of 2008 which was full of happiness and tears that have raised me better as a daughter, a friend, and on top of that, as a caliph on this earth. Alhamdulilah again and again.

So, what do I have in the closet for my new 2009? And do I have to 'extend the closet' to give enough rooms for old resolution(s) which to be carried forward? That's most probably why I am writing this one right now.

Being the typical me, I've never had like ties of resolutions for my new year. Like many others, I do keep my list, but it is a short one. And simple. That's most importanto!

Looking back at my 2008's resolutions in retrospect, I bet I've got nothing to be carried forward, but, my 2009's resolutions might sound more or less identical to those I had in the previous year:

1. To complete my research proposal by this semester (at least before finals)

2. To get the proposal approved by my supervisor (expecting a few alterations though)

3. To get my thesis done before Sept this year.

4. To maintain my CGPA (I know I must dare swallow all pains that would likely to come across)

5. To submit application for pursuing PhD to be included in the June/Sept 2010 intake in Columbia University and at the same time find scholarship or study grant.

Ameen.

Those are just resolutions. And the next important things to it are always perseverance and determination. I am the beget who carries the important role in making the list turn into desired reality.

I have been gabfesting about 2009's resolutions with many ones for the past few days. And I am ultimately happy knowing that some of my dear kakaks (my classmates) and lovely peeps are planning to tie the knot in 2009. Alhamdulillah and congratulations to all of them. Some did ask, "Aren't you planning for something really big, Intan?". I got the meaning right then.

I might not have the accurate answer for this question but I'm not saying that I was offended or anything. And to be exact, I felt completely nothing, maybe numb and not petriefied at all. I used to encounter such a question with lough and stupid smile. But oh well, everyone wants to get married. I know some people 'choose not to get married'. At least, that's not what I am going to choose. But, that could also be my 'last resort'. Ngahaha! Simpang malaikat patplohpat...~

Amidst this life's challenges, barriers and tests, I am a strong believer to the fact that "manusia dicipta berpasang-pasangan". I also strongly belief that the partner fated for me is someone who completes my weaknesses and I'll complete him as well. That what makes this love life more meaningful. Someone who can accepts me with all of my weaknesses (as much as I love him the way he is), and it refers to the man whom I credit a husband would treasure.

So, I let the time to determine that part for me and I am keeping the faith and praying hard that everything I have in my life now is the best for me and my future, insyaAllah.

I always tell myself that I must put myself first, at least before the moment I make decision like what my friends' did in this life. Because I do understand that once a person decided to get married, it means sharing things together for the rest of the life for all sweets and bitter reasons the world would offer.

All I need for my current life and future is the ample spaces for me to settle things properly and to be who I wanna be. That's the answer to the five newborn resolutions. Ghee!

So here I am tonight.

Celebrating the blast of new year at home sweet home and still lovinit!

Last but not least, I'm wishing everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009!

::I Made it From Labuan to Limbang and Labuan Once Again::

2008-12-30T18:55:00.001-08:00

+Terlalu menenangkan. Tlah membuatku jatuh cinta+

+This wooden bridge connects one home to another+

+ They don't have a proper drainage system. Everything will be thrown into the water. And most of the Village Water consituents are n't locals+

+It's the Village Water, Patai-Patai Dua. Another tourism attraction+

+I love the sands. I love the blue ocean. I love the beutiful skies. Picturesque!+

+Manikam Beach, Labuan. Besides Manikam Beach, I also went to Bt. Arang Beach, Kg.Labu Beach and the one near to Rencha Village.+

+ I love the breezy Labuan+

+Malaysia-Brunei border. It takes only 40minutes to get into the neighboring country from this spot. Many Brunei citizens came to Limbang to get cheaper things. On Saturday's night, they'll be in Limbang for liquor. Nak ja ako sepak sekoq2 yg dok bersepah mabuk kat tepi jalan+

+A day before the pengantins' big day. It has been raining for the past few days, that's why it's a bit muddy. Luckily I got my sneakers and not heels. Ngahaha! And one interesting term I just learned, they called the canopy as 'kem' (acronym of 'khemah')+

+These are the Sarawakian's lovely love letters! Delicious and colorful. It has got another color, coco. Tapi da selamattt dimakan+

+Hanya dengan sekali lafaz. Good work, Ariff! That what makes a man! :). The akad was done in Sarawakian's language, I guess+

+This is basically why we are in Limbang! CONGRATULATIONS Ariff and Nisa'..~ The day before, both of them had to do 'mandi beras'. That's the Sarawakian's culture. And I love the experience. But I must not upload their 'bathing' pictas in here! ;)+

+The water village from the Limbang Jetty. It's whole new interesting thing. They use boats and sampan to cross the river. It's nearer, faster and cheaper way to get to the Limbang town+

+It took a crook two hours to finally get in Limbang. And the boat carries more than mere passengers. Frozen and stuffed foods as well+

+My dad and our 13 other relatives are making our way to the speed boat. Limbang, HERE WE COME!!+

+Labuan Shipyard from far. It's good to see giant machines tranfering big-big ships+

+..Dermaga Labuan, from the river bank. The weather is hot yet lovly and am lovinit!..+

+..Dermaga Labuan. There's a gigantic poster that shows the loyalty of
the constituents toward the party..+

::Lousy Process That I Ha8::

2008-12-30T17:29:00.000-08:00

This one is all about the course registration via online.

When the campus administration finally decided to put evertyhing via online, I was one of the most cheered students. I was expecting the newly implemented state-of-the art means to be the perfect platform in helping the students to be better in touch with the administration even when we are off campus.

On top of that, when everything goes online, I was also expecting that I don't really have to be on campus land in dealing with things like course registration and validation, book's booking, hunting for tonnes of the online journals, extending or renewing car stickers and books' return date, also to check our 'samans' and trial date.

Ghee..I still keep one stupid saman since my first semester in Master. The Pak Guards can be really inconsiderate and unreasonable at times. Acting like king of no legacy. Ceth..~

Fine, back to the main issue.

Whilst the good notion of putting all things via online, it isn't operating like what have been expected. The network turns many official and important processes to be ambigous and precarious when it fails the progresses of many things! And at times, during peak hours (during finals days of course registation and when examintion results were released), the website fails to support the heavy online visitors.

This is exactly what I am facing at the moment.

I've been trying really hard, in so many ways, just to get my COM504 (Graduate Seminar) to be registered. The moderator opened the online registration on December21, yet until now, I still cannot get that one particular course to be registered and the best thing of all, the course hasn't been listed in the courses selection. And they (the moderators) must have all reasons in this world not working on this until now!

I contacted my faculty and they could not do much as they have reported the matter to the right department. Fine, they did their part. And I do know that fingers should not be pointed at one particular party since there;re just too many parties implicated in handling this matter.

I could not be bothered about who should be blamed as my sole concern is how they (all deparments) operate themselves in getting their works done and that is it!

I just want to get over this thing. I need my COM504 to be registered and to know that everything is in the right place for myself. I hate my very bitter experience dealing with irresponsible persons in the administration (I'm not saying all of them) when they really ignored the my status back in my sixth semester in Degree years. It was due to their very own mistake, they were complete ignorance by not letting me and my friends know beforehand and when everything was too late, they made us live miserable to death.

I do not want that to happen once again. So that is probably why I let myself 'haunt' the right persons in the administration before they can hit the chance to put blames on the students over their own lousy jobs.

::I Can Finally Take a Real Deep Breath::

2008-12-24T05:34:00.000-08:00

Riddles and heart-throb are all GONE by now.

ALHAMDULILLAH. Finally, my heart is pounding normal again. But, that was not until the examination result is released. And December 19 has marked another sweet memory in my life.

Take my words, I am very bad at encountering apprehension. Indeed, I've never had any wise means to get over it anyway, especially when it comes to condition when I had to deal with things that are closely related to my studies. The world has no pacifier that can exactly pacified the creeping feeling in me. By now, do I sound more like an alien? =(

Result has been released. Now, Semester Three awaits me in the end of 2008. The very first class will kicks-off on Dec30 (Tuesday) and I will be doing Media Laws and Regulations on every Tuesdays. YES, it is LAW, dear peeps! And that is so going to be another solid reason that would lead me to an unrest life! Law! Law! Law!

I have had this very bad experience dealing with law course. This one haunted me back in my Degree years. I might not had a very good reason to feel so bad about the course. Come on. My lecturer was awesome! She managed to find the simplest way that really helped communication students (especially the 'slow' one like me) to catch 'law thingys' easily. I loved my law classes, all assignments and projects like seriously.

But still, above all good things that I've mentioned, I still failed to get over the unreasonable tense dealing with law. I did oke in my Midsem test (at least I did not have to re-sit). Alhamdulillah, overall, I managed to get an A- for my Law course. Exactly not what I'd contemplated beforehand =))

Study is not all about tests and examinations. That's what my Law's lecturer told me. I know that very well though. But still, everything that relates to my studies should be seriously counted and I dare not to take any risks over ignorance. I am not a fast learner like others do, that is mainly why I always have to work like crazy from the beginning. For the sake of my future and ambition, I would take all pain al the way, insyaAllah.

Besides Media Laws and Regulations, I've got another two challenging courses to be taken in Semester Three- Telecommunications and Media Management and Graduate Seminar. All I have with me now are "perseverance and determination" that will be my guidance to get through things in the upcoming semester. With hark work and do'a, Allah SWT will make the path easier for me, insyaAllah.

Dear friends of mine, please pray for my success in Semester Three. I will always need loads of that!

Again and again, THANK YOU ALLAH SWT for all blessings.

::Confusing Tomorrow::

2008-12-12T05:02:00.000-08:00

In the first place, we were told to be present at school on the Dec 13 for the manual registration since there'll be no online registration this time around.

Then, clashing information were heard here and there. Oow, typical problem, I guess. This is what me and other UiTM students have been facing since ever. No biggie, anyway!

IPSis provided us with information that are totally competing with what our Coordinator has informed us earlier. And it's kinda hard to make selection at this particular stage- either to come tomorrow for the manual registration or to stick with the dates given by IPSis in the website.

But personally, I would rather anticipate all pain pertaining to registration matters. This is very much because I have this very black experience dealing with registration thingys back in my final semester in Degree level. Darn.

Our Coordinator has informed us to be present on the Dec 13 for the manual registration. And I know very true that finger should not be pointed at anyone since we've to use our own wisdom to make wise judgement over this typical matter.

Some friends are still caught in deep confusion. I still do, though. A confusion that happens every semester and that is very much why I say this is just a typical matter to me.

Classmates keep asking one same question that I might not have one definite answer as they desired for- "Is manual registration necessary?". But to me, honestly, I will never be that bold to take the risks, especially the ones pertaining to my studies. So, although we have the online registration, manual registraton is still a biggie to me!

I hate my black experience I had back in 2006. It wasn't due to my own mistakes, but because I had not enough information regarding the registration process, I was resorted to almost four-months hell of conflict that had put my convocation at real stake. Damn it.

But Alhamdulillah, my kind lecturers who are my mentors have helped me to pull through. They really gave me their helping hands to save me out of the problem and I managed to graduate on time. And since that, anything relates to registration process has been another priority in my life. I'll never hesitate to clarify and verify the same thing over again as things keep on changing without prior notice. I don't care if some clerks in the office might simply assumed that I'm stupid or whatever.

I just want to be in the safe side!

On top of that, the registration also indicates that the new semester is just around the corner and I am patiently counting my remaining holidays. Fine, I have had enough until now. The mind has had good rest and it's already the time for me to look forward to the Third Semester which will begins in early January.

Please pray for my success, dear friends. Really need loads of that!

::A Rainy EidulAdha::

2008-12-07T20:02:00.000-08:00

When I was awaken by the noisy alarm at 6.30am today, I can barely open my eyes. Deserves me right. I went to bed at around 4am the night before. I bet that was due to Pakcik Manan's teh tarik kao..! I had two glasses of it at the kenduri yesterday.

Since last night, the rains are still dropping, dampening the earth and we are celebrating this year's EidulAdha in a very vigorous condition. Ow, I am loving the weather!

::My EidulAdha Eve::

2008-12-07T09:57:00.000-08:00

Performing tawaf

Masjidil Haram, Mecca

It's sharp 2 am in the morning at this very moment.

It's EidulAdha's eve. Tonight reminds me of the precious experiences that I and my parents had back in 1998, the year we performed our Haj. At this time, we were still in Mina, waiting for our turn to be sent back to Mecca to perform the much awaited tawaf and sai'e before finally we can declare the title of Haji and Hajjah.

I was only 14 year-old at that time. Very young, so I followed whatever my parents and ustaz told me to do.

Mina resembles the notion of Padang Mahsyar- the venue where all Muslims will be gathered during afterlife. Millions of people in one placed. It's highly crowded, but everyone loved the scene.

When we were brought back to Masjidil Haram to perform our tawaf and sai'e, the sacred mosque was less crowded. My group was amongst the first to be brought back to Mecca. Alhamdulillah, given such an advantage, we managed to perform our seven-rounds-tawaf quite comfortable. After I completed my tawaf and before moving to sai'e, I joined my parents and the mutawwif for a solat sunat and Alhamdulillah, we managed to performed the solat facing the al-Multazam, and it's said that al-multazam is one of the best places for do'a and do'a are answered in this place. InsyaAllah.

When I was staring the Kaabah in astonisment, my conscience told me to bring myself and my parents near to the hajarul aswad and kiss it. By that time, pilgrims have already flooded the mosque from Mina. The mutawwif explained to me that it was not easy to hit for a chance within the huge crowd but at the same time he reminded me to keep reading the do'a and insyaAllah, Allah SWT will make it easier for me and my parents.

Hand in hand, I brought my parents into the crowd. We cannot simply crossed the moving crowd who were performing their tawaf, so that we had to make a single round to make it easier to bring ourselves nearer to the spot. 'Rabbi yassir wala tu'assir robbi tammim bil khoiri'. It's a do'a I learned during my Haj course months before I left for Mecca. A simple yet powerful do'a. Allahuakbar.

Upon reaching the hajarul aswad, I saw the huge policeman, who stood next to the stone looking at me. I pulled my parents to get them nearer to the spot before a huge miracle happened to us. The policeman said something in Arabic to the crowd who were struggling to get a chance to kiss the hajarul aswad and pointing at me and my parents. All I could understand was, "Ladies first, ya Haj!" He kept saying that and he pulled my shoulder to get me and my parents in the first line of the crowd. I burst in tears when I got the very chance to kissed the hajarul aswad, and I kissed twice before letting my parents to get their chance. Then, the policemen helped me and my parents to pull through the crowd and 'freed' us. Subhanallah.

I was petrified and couldn't say anything at that very moment. I still feel like dreaming when recalling the memory. From then I keep telling myself that nothing's impossible in this life. With hard work, perseverance, determination and continuous do'a, Allah SWT, the almighty will show me the way to make things happen. InsyaAllah. Allah SWT has never break His promises, but we did. Astaghfirullahal'azim.

Before we moved to the sai'e area, we had a few cups of zam-zam water near to the well underneath the Masjidil Haram. There used to be a place where pilgrims can drink the zam-zam water straight from the well and people could also take their wudhuk in there, but recently I heard that the mosque' caretakers have closed the area and what's left available for the pilfgrims are the barrels of zam-zam water that they've accomodated all over the mosque.

Finally, we moved to the sai'e area. By that time, the crowd have already flooded all over the place, but it's a beutiful depictions when I'd the chance to see people of distinct colors and races gathered in one single place for Allah SWT. Everyone was in their ihrams, white in color and it reflects that all humans are just the same, regardless of our status or hierachy. Allah SWT doesn't count on that. What make us difference are the iman and 'amal.

Once we done the sai'e, it was the time for us to release the ihram by cutting the hair a little (for women and men) or men can also go for a total shaving. My dad chose the latter. Alhamdulillah. We've performed one of the big rukun Islam but we still keep our wish to pay for a second Haj. InsyaAllah.

A week after the Haj, we left for Dubai to pay some relatives a visit. Before returning to Kuala Lumpur, we dropped by in Jordan for two days. And finally we were at home sweet home :)

If people were to ask about my sweetest memory, I would say, "My Haj experiences are on top."

I keep one promise to myself. Once I started working, I'll start funding for another Haj in the future. Perhaps with my parents and beloved husband. The man Allah SWT has fated for me that only future can tell.

SALAM AIDILADHA!

Ow, it's already 3.38am. How time flies..~

::more pictas of fashion show::

2008-12-07T09:26:00.000-08:00

Note from top tp bottom: The 31 talented-smart-bold designers, Welcoming Designs at the HoF & They are real men!

::r u n w a y AT h a l l o f f a m e::

2008-12-06T16:15:00.000-08:00

I first thought that I was already late for the event which supposed to start at 2.30 pm.

I'd plan to anticipate my trip to the Lim Kok Wing University as it's my very first visit there, so I can take a little sight seeing before the event begins at the stated time. Unforunately, my schedule of the day was rather crazy and I can only make it there at +-3 pm. Lucky enough, I faced no problem in finding the location of the university and I must thank Rico for the pointers!

When I was about to reach the instituion's main entrance, I saw rows of rides being parked by the roadside and a few of them did double park though. So I wonder, if the rides belong to the students, why didn't they choose to park inside the campus area?

Upon the post guard, a Nepal man dressed in Safeguards attire greet me with a warmth helo, "This way, mam", he showed me where to park. I replied, "Where can I get free parking in here?". He then replied me by pointing to the rows of rides outside I saw earlier. I finally got the answer, the students would rather take the risks since they have to pay for the parking the institution provides inside. RM3 for the first hour and RM1 for the subsequent hours. Darn expensive, init?

A foreign student of the insitution offered following-pointers to get me to the 'Hall of Fame'- the venue I was searching for. "How nice of him", I thought. "Are you here for your sibling?", he asked. "Er, for my friend's fashion show", I replied. I thank him for his very kind favor when I've finally reached the HoF, or else, I would be seen more than a complete stranger in there.

At the hall's entrance, a lady greeted me with a welcoming smile and warmth hand-shake. "The show is about to begin in 30 minutes time. So, perhaps you would like to visit out gallery first", she explained.

The next thing I know I was already in one of the galleries in Lim Kok Wing University, feasting my eyes with the masterpieces of the students. They placed almost all kinds of the students' products ranging from architecture miniatures and outline plans, futuristic designs and sculptures, paintings and depictions, lines of the communication students' products and towards the end of the gallery, they placed outstanding drawings and garments by the Fashion Designing and Retail Materials' graduating students.

I must say that the gallery is modern and well equipped with state-of-the art technologies that make everything that they have inside look terrific! I mustn't ponder that much why their single semester fees cost more than what I paid for my six semesters. For families who can seriously afford to send their children to Lim Kok Wing, I guess it's going to be a worthwhile investments, insyaAllah.

The show started at around 3.30pm. I went into the HoF with a kind assistance of a sweet girl in the committee, directing me to where I was suppose to seat. Lucky me, I got the very front seat and the runway is just a metre in front of me! I got the bestest view of the day.

They hit the show with three distinct themes and I was enjoying myself very much. The new comers are simply talented, smart and bold. Although some of the garments are less practical and only meant for runway, but we must still appreciate what they have presented on the day. Each of the designers-of-the-day who are actually the 31 graduating students prepared six garments. It means that the audiences had 186 outstanding garments in one stretch of the show! "Creativity Unlimited" was the perfect theme an no one should ever doubt it.

Rico, the most celebrated designer of the day had presented more than six garments- the emcee wore his dress though! And I must say that Rico presented the most terrific ones. The dominant color was maroon and black, but he played with the blinking sequines of all sizes all over his garments. The crowd gave a huge applause and I saw the daughter of Lim Kok Wing was also mesmerized. Bright future awaits, bro!

I know that Rico's cut to be one renowned designer someday. I'll always pray for that, Amin. He's done with his Diploma in Fashion Designing this year and is already active in the industry he loves the most by now. He's damn lucky because he only paid fees for his first three semesters and studied in the remaining semesters for free since he got scholarship from the institution over his impressive results. The hardworking boy deserves that very much, I know.

All the best, brother!

::Good Times with Great Friends::

2008-12-03T18:40:00.000-08:00

Nur Khalidah bt. Khalid.

Zuhri Atiqah bt. Zahrildini.

Elena Hong Tze Lan bt. Musli.

Nurhazah bt. Ibrahim.

They are my all-times-great-gorgeous besties.

Born as the only child in my family, my friends are like my siblings.

I might not have any specific reasons why I am writing this piece, but being me, I always love to talk about my favorite besties as much as they just can't get enough gabfesting things about me! (especially when depicting me in my primary school years. Darn.)

Well, they know me clear-crystal. These girls always have their say about me.

I have been friends with both of Nur Khalidah bt. Khalid and Zuhri Atiqah bt. Zahrildini since we are 7-year-old. Standard One, you got it! By now, this friendship has been almost 17 years and I must say that this is the most mature friendship I've ever had. We were in the same primary school and that was SRK Convent Kajang. Together we moved to SMK Convent Kajang and we learned this life more during that time.

During secondary school, me and Alys (referring to Khalidah, only I call her this way) we were both prefect and we are in the Prefects Committee. Alys was rather more dicipline than I did. Being in a bunch of hooligan peeps, I cannot be that serious as the girls have always had their ways to dropped me in great jokes and laughters.

Alys and Tiqah (this time I'm referring to Zuhri) are not merely my best friends, they're my shoulders to cry on, my motivator, my advisor and on top of that, my punching bag at times. I am not a biggie to them as they know very well how to handle me in most emergency situations and pacified me well.

They're also my talented 'mind readers' So, mind me to keep any secrets from them! They always say this: "Ko jangan sorok masalah ko, Tan. Mata ko tak boleh tipu aku!". They got me through my eyes. Trust me, I thought this is something that only my parents can do, but apparently, my girls did that well though. And all these while, I've always rest my case to these people.

Since we left Convent Kajang, we've always had a dream- to be on a cruise journey. And we still keep this dream till we finally got ourselves on one, insyaAllah.

Alys and Tiqah are attached with good companies and I believe that they're doing pretty well with their very own paths. As for Alys, she's now with MDeC and can't stop getting opportunities to travel the globe yet get paid ;) Tiqah's working with Sime Darby and hopefully she'll get better opportunities in the future-to-come, Amin.

Elena Hong Tze Lan bt. Musli is an angel sent from above to be in my top list. We've shared tears and joys throughout our six-year-old frienship.

After SPM results were released, my first two besties and other friends of the clan from Convent made their way to maticulations and universities. Me instead, I took STPM. I was quite a lone-ranger on the first day of Form Six and finally I met Elena and she's all the reason that made my life happier.

Since we first met, we've been real good friends. Other friends in the class used to say, "Kat mana ada Intan, ada la Elena. Kat mana ada Elena, kat situ la ada Intan". Elena helped me to pull through the very delicate and precarious situation that used to caught me back in 2003. I was dumped by a man who had my heart once and our four-years relationship went through the drain. But that's so history! I lived :)

Elena always offers me her helping hand and she knows very well where to start and when to put a stop. We always share our views and opinions although sometimes it turned to be contradict, but that's ok. We loved the differences, anyway!

For the two years we spent in Kajang High School, we had terrific moments to be remembered all the way. We've always wish to repeat the moments we had back in school days. Well, like my first top twos, Elena is now doing her 9-months chambering and she's about to get her license. I have no doubt that someday she'll be one of the top local lawyers in this country. She's talented and simply smart. She's cut to do this job!

Nurhazah bt. Ibrahim. A very down-to-earth talented journalist. Yes, she is a journalist. We started this lifetime friendship back in campus. Both of us graduated in Journalism back in 2007 after three solid and challenging years of Degree.

Hazah is my ever perfect study-mate. All assignments since the first semester we did together. She' good at graphics, so she did the slides and applied interesting effects in our three-years presentations! As for me, I was more on the writing part.

I really learned alot about life in campus. I bet Hazah does too. Hands in hands, we've faced ties of challenges together. Remembering about the days we spent in campus is simply nostalgic to both of us! Whilst a few of my colleagues have gone through hell of friendship matters, me and Hazah stick tohether till now. Alhamdulillah. I am very happy to be a frien of hers :)

After graduating, Hazah moved into a good career and she's currently doing things she loves the most- reporting! As for me, I chose to further my studies and that's what I am doing.

These four girls complete my life with joy and hilarious experiences.

No matter what, they're my drop-dead gorgeous besties and will remain that way till the end!

InsyaAllah.

They worth more than just my best friends. They're my imbiological sisters!

I LOVE MY FRIENDS.

::Malay Must Not Easily Forget::

2008-12-02T04:02:00.000-08:00

"Malay forgets easily". And that is a famous quotation by the country's former First Man, Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohammed. He confessed that in tears.

For those who missed the life telecast which aired Dr.Mahathir reading his poem, they can still feel the agony expressed by him. Although he is born mixed blood, but Dr.Mahathir's passion and sacrifices for the Malays are undoubtedly greater compared to those pure Malays.

Malays were overly pampered during Dr.Mahathir's administration. He introduced, imposed and enforced ties of schmes, programmes and institutions that are meant to protect his beloved constituents. To my belief, personally and exclusively, Dr.Mahathir is more than mere 'Bapa Perindustrian'. He is an evergreen-Malay-iconic-leader in every ways! Not too much of exaggeration, right?

Dr.Mahathir has anticipated the fate and future of Malays as he knew the true colors of the people of his race. Therefore, during his 23-year-admnistration, he has put many 'evacuation programmes' in practice that attemp to help the Malays survive within the stiff competition with other races.

Although his administration experienced series of tough crticisms, especially by the opposition political parties, but we can go and ask Malays out there including me, did we lived in daunting condition during Mahathir's time? I personally will answer a BIG NO.

Institut Teknologi Mara (ITM) gained its university status during Mahathir's legacy and due to his tireless efforts, the insitution remains as the resemblance of ketuanan Melayu in this land. Amanah Saham Berhad (ASB) and Amanah Saham Nasional (ASN) are two effective means to help the Malays thrive in their lives when the time comes.

Above all, he preserved the Malays' rights in a draconian way whilst protecting the lives of other races with very sensible ways that had led the country's harmony and potential economic growth. People at that time had nothing much to dispute. Everything was right in place.

I was born back in 1984. The very day I started to learn this life, Dr.Mahathir was already in the picture. I witnessed his successful legacy and I have no doubt to thank Dr.Mahathir for what me, my family and contituents have today. I was accepted to pursue my Degree in UiTM. My total educational fees (six semesters) cost less than what students in Lim Kok Wing have to pay for just one semester. And again, I am now pursuing my Masters Degree in UiTM.

Although he has left the administration and the baton is now in his self-picked successor's grip, Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, I still felt that the benefits I am enjoying today as a Malaysian are very much what Dr.Mahathir has left for us, the Malays, the Malaysians and our beloved Malaysia.

So Malays, we mustn't easily forget. Learn to appreciate this life better than we did previously. Unlike before, we are now very much on our own to keep ourselves going.

With hard work, perseverance and determination, undoubtedly, Malays can be really successful and better respected in the eyes of the world. InsyaAllah.

I LOVE MALAYSIA.

::POTLUCK PARTY 2008:As Hot as the Red!::

2008-12-01T19:19:00.000-08:00

Munira and Nabilah were the firsts to come.

Nabilah handed me her home-made delicious 'karipap pusing' and Munirah prepared her instant desert at my crib. Maisarah has a '50% share' in Munirah's sweet desert. Dare me not to mention the figures ;)

Minutes later, Mimi turned up with her beloved Hafis. Hafis was shy to join the party in the first place as he thought that it was meant merely for Convent girls. But Mimi did her part convincingly to help Hafis pull through. Hehe.

Not long after that, more couples turned up and it was good to see my gorgeous besties with their loves ! Zuhri and Anas. Alys and Ariff. Syanor and Along. Farha and Pen. Midi and Affin. And the rest turned singles on the day. I mean, some of us are really single available whilst some are singles only on the day. Hehe.

Both Mimi and Fauzan brought Secret Recipe's rich cakes for the peeps. Zuhri was trying to hide her home-made chocolate cake when she realize that there are already two Secret Recipe's on the main table. C'on darling ! What you've got for us is simply delicious and everyone was counting for Zuhri's famous choco-cake. Take my words. Her cake is delicious !

Sharina and Tahirah brought fully-sprinkled-topping-stuffs-pizzas and home-made muffins.

Alys brought cupcakes that are as cute as her. Zeti brought cappuccino birthday cake that we used to celebrate Farha, Syanor and Along's belated birthdays. No candles were blown, but we sang the birthday song as loud as we are! Well, who can be louder than my hooligan peeps? Haha !

Midi made us had cute sandwiches. "Midi, we realy don't mind if apparently the sandwiches were actually Affin's products!". Baien brought pisang goreng for all.

And me, like I've promised my besties, BBQ chickens are on me. But, I've to give big credits to Hafis, Baien and Anas for helping me from the beginning till the final piece of the chicken. They said it's the men's job. So, thanks men ! :) I appreciate your kind favors very much.

Let me not to write too much as I believe that pictas will do all the talking.

My heartiest thanks to all 23 friends who have attended the party on last Sunday. You guys really made my day and the joyful moments that we shared will be permanently remembered all my life.

Friends Forever!

CHEERS !

2008-12-01T19:01:00.001-08:00

comment graphics

I came crossed this graphic and found myself lovinit.

::Materialized Politics::

2008-11-30T19:09:00.000-08:00

"Kalau dengan Mukhris, makan tempe la jawabnye. That's why we go for Ali Rustam !".

An undobtedly-shameful statement from a person who deemed himself to be an active UMNO member all his life. I stared right in his eyes until he finally realised that he has gone far overboard with his articulations that portay him like a complete dumbo.

I met this man at a ceremony yesterday after my uncle introduced him to Ayah and Ibu. My first perception was, "This man is ebullient". I should have realised that such a perception was totally wrong. He is pure example of money politic, instead.

The upper echelons of UMNO leaders, especially the ones who are dying to win positions in March 2009, appear everywhere in the media to show their enthusiam and determination to abolish money politics which seem to permanently dwell in the sole organization which resembles the Malays.

But the followers expressed themselves in distinct ways. That reflects the implied fact that money politics are yet to rest the case. Money is still the utmost and deliberate issue that the 50-year-old organization has to deluge with.

The rules which outlined the do's and dont's that should be obeyed by the candidates and all party members turn to be simply derivative. The blacks-and-whites are on the paper, but they have got their own way to save their ass from the public. If the candidates are still stuck in the state of dereliction of their pure duty, then I guess the constituents have nothing much to expect.

I was born in an UMNO family. I see the happenings today done by the dirty hands are desecrating the status of UMNO and Malays at large.

Sorry to say so...

::Nirmala Bonat's Ex-Employer Freed Yesterday::

2008-11-29T18:30:00.000-08:00

RM200,000 is the price that the notorious employer paid to get herself freed by the court.

It's too cheap. Honestly. Too cheap for a person who was charged with three counts of causing grievous hurt to an innocent girl.

The ex-stewardess was reportedly stunned when hearing the court's decision and world knows that she was petrified to death when she burst into tears on the husband's lap in the court. Not only Yim Pek Ha learned through her notorious crime, but the rest of employees should take this case as a serious lesson.

After what she has done to her maid back at her exclusive apartment in Jalan Tun Ismail, the innocent Nirmala who took all the pains in order to seek for an honest living, has been suffered a permanent nightmarish experience which will definitely haunts her in a draconian way.

All employers must learn that maids are also humans and like us, deemed to be treated equally with the basic human rights. If you dislike your maid over her low efficiency in performance, stopped her without having to scorching the person with hot iron or scalding her with boiling water. Get your family a new one to replace the weak maid.

Nirmala's ex-employer obviously thought that she could save her ass from the public. But apparently, things turned to be the other way round. It's not merely her and the family, but the rest of constituents and the country at large have to bear the same price over her unforgivable sin.

Why did I say so ?

Indonesians started to have negative perceptions toward Malaysians and even worst, some of them assumed that employers in Malaysia are simply antagonists, although it was only Yim Pek Ha and some other evil employers who created the undesirable history. Above all, such black incidents have jeopardized the bond between Malaysia and Indonesia.

Mrs. Yim Pek Ha, Seow Eng Aik, Phoy Yew Yong, Mat Sidi Samad and Chai Pei Ee, just to mention a few who have created history with permanent black mark, should not only apologized to thier maids, but also to the rest of Malaysians and the government who have to bear the nominal charges over the sadistic act done by irresponsible employers.

I am a strong believer that we have to pay the equal price, at all times with no compromise.

::Limbang Trip::

2008-11-29T17:39:00.000-08:00

I was about to drop my December trip to Limbang, Sarawak.

Adventitiously, my conscience told me to give it a try, although it's going to be a plain-wedding ceremony. It means, no trip to Kuching, no adventurous trackking in the haven rainforest with haversack on my back and looking at the tentative, it seems like there is definitely no shopping.

Afterall, I don't really care about shopping-thingys. I am obviously not cut to be shopaholic. Thinking of Sarawak, I've always wondering of experiencing jungle-trackking in its thick forests, soothing my exhausted mind at its clear-crystal rivers, visiting rumah panjang and witnessing their exclusive traditional way of life and my utmost wish is to try the foods of the locals ! I always believe that foods describe the culture best. I am an eater.

When I was about making the decision to call AirAsia to cancel my flight ticket, my mind suddenly dispersed and I finally found reasons calling me to keep the plan as it's been planned earlier. I know that there is always a bright chance to learn something new and such an experience could be really precious as long as I can decipher ways to appreciate the moments I am about to spend over there !

Today, I taught myself something new...

"Just keep the faith alive and you'll feel doubtless !"

CHEERS !

::Potluck Party 2008::

2008-11-29T07:18:00.000-08:00

"Potluck Party 2008" is happening like tomorrow and I am so up for it !

Simple preparations have been made early in the morning for a meaningful tomorrow. Me and my besties have decided to put things in simplicity yet thoughtful and memorable. I hope so very much.

It has been ages since the last time me and my Convent-mates gathered in early 2008. It was a real day for all who attended the event. I strongly believed that all of us keep the smile and loughter until forever. Solidarity speaks the bond that will never keep us apart. InsyaAllah.

A few of my friends who called me explain that they are busy preparing for the foods. It's a potluck, anyway. Undoubtedly, this is the very chance for all of us to show the hidden talents. Talents that our 14-years-friendship might have never recognized before !

We've chosen a theme to cherish our party-"RED HOT" !

Yesterday, I finally found a reason and convinced myself that I'll be wearing a serious-red cardigan in order to meet the theme. I have been articulating to put-on something in red since before, but have always resort in black, blue and white- the dominant colors in my wardrobe.

InsyaAllah, tomorrow will be marked as another sweet momento in my diary.

Friendship lasts ever after.

::Kata-Kata Saya::

2008-11-28T09:07:00.000-08:00

Mereka bilang bulan itu indah. Aku diam.
Mereka bilang bintang itu indah. Aku diam.
Mereka bilang pantai itu indah. Dan akupun diam.
Mereka bilang taman itu indah. Aku diam lagi.
Pabila mereka diam, aku bilang...
Hidup ini sejujurnya indah karena ini janjiku pada Sang Pencipta yang Maha Esa.

::Forgiving.without.Forgetting::

2008-11-28T08:28:00.000-08:00

The saying goes "Forgive and Forget". But to my belief, only angels could do so.

Not purposely reluctant to forget, but it took me several painful months just to forgive the noisome sin she did. And I need not state the name as it will only fuels the flame in me.

Before the black day that left a permanent scar to me and my besties, everyone's intention was undoubtedly noble- wanted to fix things right, properly and safely to save the delicate situation that has taken place. But apparently, the expected results turned to be completely the other way round and war of words burst out.

Caught in the middle of the situation, I tried to pacify the situation as much as I could, but I should have known that I could be badly petrified when seeing unexpected things for the first time before my eyes.

I was badly petrified before finally me and my besties found ourselves dealing with cops. We were nominally charged over something we did not commit. I know that the easiest thing to do was to curse-curse as much as I could for the false report she lodged-but somehow, I managed to keep my flaming anger just to my plain-self.

She did apologised for the false price that she forced us to pay on the other day.

By now, it has been almost five months and I still find myself hating her and yet seeing her three times a week in class. When she first apologised, I knew that I have forgive her my wholeheartedly but soon after that, I realised that the resentment is permanent no matter what she does to save the condition.

I know that I am yet over it.

Not until today.

::Finally I created One::

2008-11-28T08:13:00.000-08:00

After thoughtful articulations, I finally created one for expressing my thoughts-be it mellow or nonsense. The soul told me that having one does not mean losing anything.

And on top of that, it is undoubtedly true that only writings help me to pull through this fluctuating life.

So thank you blogger.com for giving me the chance to have my say free of charge.